Mirror Mirror
by Oldest Man
Summary: Beckett's the writer, Castle's the cop. Everyone else is who they are in canon, sort of. Obviously AU and while there's enough Caskett for some and some Kater for others. Chapter 19 is adult smuttiness.
1. Where's his skin?

This has been on the edges of my mind for a long time and I've decided to throw it into the mix.

WARNING: If you are so steeped in canon that estrogen levels dip or you're uncertain about who you really are, don't read another word. - You've been warned!

Castle's the cop, Beckett's the writer. It's interesting. And very AU but a fun read as it progresses. It must be fun. I laughed and I find very little funny anymore.

* * *

><p><em><span>Mirror Image<span>_ by Oldest Man

Part 1

Loft Apartment  
>3rd &amp; Parkview<br>Lower Manhattan  
>2am Monday<p>

Katherine Beckett walked out of the master bath wearing a towel wrap and brushing out her freshly washed hair.

"Oh, you're still here? I thought you'd be gone by now. Is there something else?"

The man she'd met at her publisher's dinner party and been dating for a few months and _finally_ brought home was still here. She liked it when they finished up and left. Especially when they weren't all that good.

"Well, I noticed you didn't – I mean when we made love you didn't – "

"Oh. Well, first of all, we had sex, we didn't 'make love'. I've never 'made love'. You really need to go. I have an interview on a morning show at 7:00 and I have to be up by 5:30. Please show yourself out."

"Jesus, the talk on the circuit is right. You screw anything and everything and then just move along. Never the same guy twice. I was going to ask you if you wanted another 'go at it' and see if you could – "

"Look, you're a nice guy and all, but you're just not what I'm looking for. All that talk? Just that - talk. This is a rarity for me. You seemed nice and genuinely interested in me as a person but I see now that all you wanted was sex and the connections I could provide. Well, you got the sex. Go home. We're done. I've wasted months on you only to find - "

She heard the door slam and sank down on the bed. She had hopes for this one. He seemed nice and asked all the right questions and gave all the right answers but in the end, all he wanted was to paw at her and rut like some animal and take advantage of her celebrity for his own purposes. She should have suspected something. He was an actor.

She sighed and wondered if she was ever going to find a man who could truly love her for the person she was, not the celebrity everyone thought they knew, and wouldn't take advantage of her for his own purposes.

She'd just keep looking for her 'One and Done'. Her friends from college had all been married and most were divorced or on marriage #2 or in a few cases, #3.

She didn't want to be a notch in some one's belt.

* * *

><p>Castle's apartment<br>4:45am Monday

"Castle." He rolled over and grabbed his phone from the charger and glanced at the clock. _'Doesn't anyone die during daylight hours?'_

"Okay. Be there in 20 minutes." He rolled over on his back and let his palm rest lightly on the buttock of his naked partner, sleeping partner not domestic, and gently shook her.

"Rora? Ror', honey? I got to go. Got a body. Don't bother cleaning up, please? Last time I couldn't find anything for a damned week."

Aurora DiGrasso flexed her buttocks in response to his intimate caress and growled. "You could at least have coffee ready before you take liberties with your hands, Rick. And honey, all I did was put the dishes in the dishwasher and turn it on. Didn't you know you have a dishwasher?"

"Yeah but it's just me and I run out of dishes before I got a full load. C'mon, I have to go. Don't sleep in, Aurora. I don't want your Captain getting in your face. You've only been at the 19th a few months."

"Nag, nag, nag. Listen, before I forget – it's your birthday Saturday, big 3-9, and I'm taking you out for dinner and dancing and then, if you're really nice to me, I'll let you unwrap the present I bought for you at Victoria's Secret."

"Rora, y'know I hate birthdays. Just leave it in the bag. I'm not into cross-dressing, y'know? That's so wrong on so many levels."

"I'll be wearing it, Rick. And almost nothing else. You better get a move on, sweetie. You're already 5 minutes into your 20."

A quick kiss that should have lasted longer and he was up and in the shower. Ten minutes later he was out the door and into his unmarked police car and on his way to the address the dispatcher had given him.

Crime Scene – Vacant building scheduled for demolition

"Espo, what you got?" Esposito and Castle had been teamed up after Rick had Aurora transferred to the 19th. He didn't want any crap about being in a relationship with a subordinate. It wasn't really a relationship but he didn't date anyone else and neither did she that he knew of.

"Freaked out homeless guy found the body parts about 3:30am. Flagged down a passing patrol car. They're over there giving their own statements. Homeless guy is in the wagon on his way to a shelter. His statement is pretty much useless."

"Where's Ryan?"

"New guy's doing the canvassing but so far no joy. Parish just got here. It's messy, boss man, very messy. Watch out! Don't step in new guy's puke. I don't blame him, really. Like I said, messy."

Castle stepped around the steaming pile of breakfast and knelt beside the M.E., Lanie Parish. The floor of the abandoned building reeked of urine, garbage and something rotting. It was a shooting gallery and used syringes were littering the floor.

"Sorry, Lanie, no coffee. I know you just got here but what can you tell me?"

"Castle, you're right, I just got here. I'm still trying to match up the parts. Forensics has taken about all the photos anyone would want of this – this slaughterhouse. Give me a couple of minutes, will ya? And here, dab some of this Vicks up your nostrils. This is really gruesome and the smell would gag a maggot."

"Oh, shit!" Castle turned and tried not to puke. 'Messy' was a gross understatement. Someone had dismantled the vic like a butcher would.

"Lanie, did the Forensics guy get a panoramic view? You're moving stuff around and I think I see something with the way the parts are displayed."

"You don't listen well, Detective. I said they got more photos than anyone would want. I assume a panoramic shot was procedure. Oh! Move outta my way – "

Castle jumped up and moved. Lanie Parish was a professional but even professionals had limits. She quietly emptied her stomach and then walked back to the crime scene, again in control.

"I heard about the Lieutenant's Exam. Sorry, Rick. Next time for sure. But hey, DiGrasso passed the Sergeant's Exam. You two will be equals and no one can get in your face if'n you two decide to go public with the romance. Seriously Rick, you two are good together. You should – "

"I know we're good but she doesn't want more. She's satisfied with the status quo and doesn't want to rock the boat. Lanie, I want more. I want to make a commitment, establish a relationship. She likes 'friends with bennies'. I'm the one who wants more."

"Rick Castle, perpetual bachelor, finally seeing the light. Hallelujah." She raised both hands heavenwards and Rick just laughed.

"Hey, I was willing to try it with us. You're the one who went to the darkside."

"One time. One damned time I experiment and you have to find out. It was just a phase, Rick. You should have had patience, it was just a phase."

"Lasted 3 months, Lanie-poo, and that was more than an experiment. That was a re-lay-shun-ship."

Lanie sighed and pushed him away. It had been a mistake. Castle would have waited, put up with her shenanigans but she'd pushed him away and told him she wasn't 'in to him'. He took it well but she often wondered about why she'd catch him looking at her with those hooded baby-blues and a needy look on his face.

"What-evah! Look, time of death indeterminate. Cause of death, dismemberment. Best I can do until I get him on the table and kinda reassembled. I'll let you know what I find out, okay? Best I can do, Rick."

"Um, Lanie, where's his skin?"

* * *

><p>Continuation dependent upon interest.<p>

OM


	2. KungfuKatie to the Rescue?

Thanks for the interest 358 of you have shown. Those who left reviews, alerts and PMs - special thanks. I like this piece better than anything else I've done. Poor Castle's not going to know what hit him. 'Carnal Kate' is about to be unveiled in future chapters. Also, Katers, (those poor misunderstood misanthropes) will not be disappointed.

If you hate Gina, this is YOUR fic.

'People are the sum of their mistakes.' Anonymous  
>[Actually, I said it but who'd believe me?]<p>

* * *

><p><em><span>Mirror Image<span>_ by Oldest Man

Chapter 2A

* * *

><p>12th Precinct Squad Room<br>Thursday

Castle strolled into work early, for him, and looked at the crime board. Three pendings and no solves. Not good at all.

"Yo, Castle, Captain wants to see you. He's got a surprise for ya!" Esposito was in entirely too good a mood for this early in the morning.

"Esposito, get to work. Where's New Guy. Shit, now you have me calling him that. Where's Kevin?"

"He's been and gone. Running down some leads on the Butcher. He should be calling in any minute."

"Hey! How many times do I have to tell you, no one goes out alone! Esposito, get him on the phone and meet him wherever he is. Jesus, you'll never make Detective 1st at this rate. _Think_, Javier."

"Okay. You're right. I just don't think he needs someone to hold his damned hand." He was wrong and was dialing the New Guy's cell when Castle spoke again.

"It's not handholding, Esposito, it's called being 'partners'. He's yours now. Cap probably has me a new one. You're senior after me so you get New – Kevin Ryan."

"Thanks a bunch there, boss man. I get to break in the rookie."

"Start by reading his file. He ain't exactly what I'd call a rookie, Espo. He's been to the circus, seen the elephant, had a righteous shooting board, twice, and he's a good guy all around. He's not political, either, so that's another plus in my book."

"Go see the Captain before he comes looking for you. He's not in the best of moods this morning."

"Neither am I, so we're even." He walked to the Captain's office and knocked on the door. He always felt like he was being sent to the principal's office when he was 'summoned' by Captain Montgomery.

* * *

><p>"Come in. Sit. Listen. Comply. Understand?" He was a hard-looking Black man who'd made his bones on the street and climbed the ladder without the aid of Affirmative Action. The only color he projected was NYPD Blue.<p>

Ten minutes later Castle walked out of the Captain's office and left the squad room and went down to the gym. He would work off his anger and rage and helplessness on the body bag.

He was getting a tag-a-long courtesy of the Mayor himself. Hizzoner wanted him to make nice with some stupid novelist who wanted to immerse himself in the squad for 'background and research purposes' for a novel about Homicide cops. Hizzoner had been a cop once - until he lawyered up - and he and Castle had had 'issues' in the past.

This must be the bastard's revenge.

He had little time before this K. Beckett made his appearance and screwed up the squad and his life.

* * *

><p>Friday<br>10am

"Castle." He answered his phone the way he'd been taught. If they called his line, they probably already knew his name.

"Rick, Lanie. I've identified the victim in the Butcher Case from dental records. It's Matthew Capaldi. Rick, I'm so sorry. I know you and Matt were partners back in the 28th when you both worked Narcotics. You asked about cause of death – yeah, he was skinned alive – but actual COD was cardiac arrest caused by massive blood loss."

"Yeah, the heart starts beating faster and faster to try and push the diminishing blood supply to the brain and – ", he started to say almost absentmindedly.

"I found something else but I need you here when I show it to you. Bring Esposito, too. And the New Guy."

"I'll be there in an hour, Dr. Parish – and 'New Guy' is Kevin Ryan."

He hung up the phone and looked around for Esposito. Matt had been his best friend until he took a disabling injury in the line of duty. That was 10 years ago. Now he lived out on Long Island someplace. Rick had lost track of him in the last few years. Matt had lost interest in keeping in touch with his old friends on the force.

'_How did a man in a wheelchair end up in my Precinct? If the body had been dumped across the street or just up a block it would have been someone else doing the investigation. What does it mean?'_

He stood and folded back the sheet that covered his murder board. They now had a name for the victim and had the added puzzle of how he came to be in the city.

* * *

><p>Medical Examiner's Office<br>11am

"Lanie, what do you have for us?"

"This was found in a small Ziploc bag in the victim's um, rear end. I found it when I was doing some scans on the body. It was sort of sticking out."

She handed Rick a photocopy of a note that had been folded many times. It was a list of names, three with checkmarks and five without. He read down the names: Billingsley, Ramirez, James, Campos, Reynolds, Capaldi, Castle and Archuleta. He felt sick. He knew all these guys. They'd all been working Narcotics at the same time he and Matt had been.

"Shit!"

* * *

><p>Captain Montgomery's Office<br>12th Precinct 1:30pm

"You're off the case and I want you out of town for a while until we can pin down some specifics. There was no connection to the three officers until now. Thanks to Ryan, we have a common time period to work on. No crap, Castle. You're on paid administrative leave until further notice. Javier and New Guy can pick up the pieces."

"Damn it, Cap. It's my case. Matt was my friend. Hell, almost all the guys on the list were friends of mine or Matt's. You think I'm dirty, don't you? You think that somehow, some way, one of us on that list did something to piss off someone else and now they're getting even, don't you?"

"No! Nothing at all like that. These guys were all clean cops. IAB has nothing on any of them during this period. Sure, some earlier or later issues but nothing during that period of time. You're on leave. Take Aurora someplace nice and kick back at the taxpayers' expense."

* * *

><p>Parkview Place<br>Beckett's Loft  
>Friday 1:30pm<p>

Katherine Beckett stretched and then sighed. She'd gone out for drinks the night before with her publisher and really tied one on. She was grateful to the Muses that she'd awakened alone. She didn't need any more complications in her life - male or female.

She looked at the digital clock beside her bed and smirked. She'd definitely have to mend her ways if she was going to be riding along on Homicide investigations. Murderers didn't keep socialite's hours. Another thing to change before she walked into the 12th Precinct in four weeks and started shadowing Detective Castle. She had to get up early and start the day right.

She'd start tomorrow for certain. Right now she needed some Maalox, Tylenol and time in a steam bath to sweat the booze out of her system. She also needed to review the public personnel files on the detectives assigned to the 12th Precinct's Homicide unit.

She believed in being prepared. She'd badgered the mayor's wife until she got an interview with the mayor and then she laid out her request together with a sizable check made payable to his reelection campaign. She kept an expertly-manicured fingernail on the check as if indicating it was an enticement, not a bribe. Not exactly.

A few days later she was officially notified that her request to shadow a Homicide Squad had been approved. She presented herself to the Human Resources Office signed waivers and forms and then she waited to be assigned to a unit. It had taken a month to evaluate her request and find the unit most appropriate to her needs.

Beckett knew bureaucracies and knew that what was really meant was that the Mayor had needed time to put the squeeze on someone to allow the process to begin. Well, $50 thousand should have provided a lot of 'squeeze'. The mayor's wife had called and told her 'it was a done-deal' for Castle and the 12th Precinct'.

She finally had what she wanted. She was to report to Captain Montgomery of the 12th Precinct Monday morning and meet the man she was going to shadow.

* * *

><p>The Cop Shop Bar &amp; Grill<br>Saturday 1am  
>Castle's Birthday Party<p>

Castle was feeling great. He rarely drank and so when he did, it really hit him hard, like tonight. But he had a special reason to celebrate this particular birthday.

They were dancing to some really slow and sexy music when Aurora leaned up and put both her hands behind Rick's neck and pulled him down to her level and whispered loudly, "I think I love you, Castle, and I think it's time we moved in together. What do you think about that, Rick?"

"I think that's a wonderful birthday present. I love you and I want you in my life as much as you want to be. This is just great!" He picked her up and swung her around. Aurora laughed in delight as he did so.

They were heading off to Miami and warm weather first thing in the morning and they were both looking forward to some sun and sand and finding their own balance with one another while the police force worked to find the murderer of 4 police officers.

For Aurora this was a huge step. She had been hesitant to ever use the 'L' word but after all this time she knew he was the one. Nothing mystical, just keen observation. He was nothing like her father. He wouldn't leave her, his family, for some younger woman - ever.

"Honey, it's getting late and we've got a long drive ahead of us. Let's head out for my place and leave whenever we wake up. Castle, you've had too much to drink and I have plans for us tonight. Remember the present I bought? I'm wearing it now, and absolutely nothing else."

She giggled at the look on his face. He could be such a prude about some things. He still pretended that she never had to use the bathroom.

"I think you better drive, Aurora. Get my keys from New Guy and meet me out front. I have to use the – facilities." He blushed and picked his way through the crowd of well-wishers and used the john.

Esposito and Ryan and their dates walked out with Castle and over towards his car. His partners were talking about getting together on Sunday to watch a football game when they were less than 5 yards from Castle's car it exploded, throwing them to the ground.

He couldn't hear. He could barely see. Castle dizzily pushed himself off the ground, wiped blood from his face and eyes with his coat sleeve and stumbled to the car that was now enveloped in flames from the explosion. He burned his hands trying to pull open the mangled door and get Aurora out but the intense heat and his other injuries proved too much and he allowed Esposito to pull him away and lay him down.

"Boss – Castle – hey, stay with us. Castle – " Esposito was pushed out of the way and his date, Dr. Lanie Parish, checked him for additional injuries. "Kevin, take Jenny inside. Javier, call it in and roll an ambulance and my crew. Aww, Rick, I'm so sorry..."

* * *

><p>A block away, a man sat in rented sedan and checked off another name on the list his client had given him. This one had been assigned to the Narcotics Division at the same time as the Client and he was a loose end that needed to be tied into a knot. If there was enough left of that car, they'd find another red herring note in the glove box.<p>

* * *

><p>University Presbyterian Hospital<br>Trauma Unit  
>Saturday 3am<p>

The doctor briefed the waiting group, a crowd actually, on the patient's condition.

"Third degree burns on his hands that will probably require skin grafts. A burn specialist will determine treatment at some future date. He has 2nd degree burns on the arms but mostly blistering and scorching where the polyester fabric of his shirt melted to the skin. He has 2nd degree burns on his face. Again, nothing severe but some possible scarring but we're keeping an eye on it. That's the good news."

The doctor took a deep breath before continuing.

"The bad news is that he took quite a knock on the head when he was hit by the blast. How he got back up on his feet is beyond me. He's been in and out of consciousness and we're taking him in for scans and x-rays and we won't have any more information for you until those are finished. Once we determine the extent of cranial issues, if any, he'll be sedated because of the pain of his burns and the specialists will begin his evaluation."

There were no questions from the group. They were familiar with the drill. One of their own was down. There were rituals to be followed, traditions to be observed.

"Which of you is Aurora? He's been asking for you periodically. If you could – "

"She's dead. She was in the car when it blew up. He knows, doctor, he knows." Esposito had seen the tears in Castle's eyes. He knew Aurora was gone.

* * *

><p>University Presbyterian Hospital<br>Castle's room  
>Wednesday 10am<p>

He was in and out of consciousness Sunday but that was to be expected. He was kept sedated until early Wednesday morning. He slipped into normal sleep sometime earlier in the day.

Any visitors were carefully screened before being admitted to Castle's floor. The detail assigned to his security took their duties very seriously. And that's where Katherine Beckett ran afoul of the system.

"I'm authorized to visit Detective Castle by the mayor himself. Call him. Call Captain Montgomery. I'm supposed to be his shadow. I demand to see him."

"Lady, I don't care if Michelle Obama told you it was okay to visit. You're not on the list. You're not getting off the elevator. Move along."

"I'll be back." She turned and got back on the elevator thoroughly pissed off at wasting her time. Those Neanderthals weren't impressed by the mayor or her reference to Captain Montgomery, Castle's immediate superior. She'd have to take drastic steps to meet the man she was going to shadow. She'd invite the Mayor's Wife to lunch.

* * *

><p>12th Precinct<br>Homicide Squad Room  
>Wednesday 2pm<p>

Kevin Ryan was a very meticulous and cautious man. He knew he was the proverbial 'New Guy' and he knew it was a rite of passage. However, he also wanted to make a contribution to the case that had put their boss in the hospital and killed Detective Aurora DiGrasso.

He charted the tenures of each of the men on the list and plotted them on a graphic time line an narrowed down the period that all 8 had served together. Next he ran a query and got a list of every case that the unit had worked, either started or completed, during that period. When he was done, he had a nice database of 14 cases spanning 7 months. He requested the files from Central files for those cases still open and from Storage from those that were closed.

He quickly discarded several of the 14 cases. Several (6) were still in jail, 3 were dead and thus posed no threat and that left only five to work. He presented his findings to the Captain and Esposito and together they planned what to do next.

* * *

><p>12th Precinct Squad Room<br>Thursday Noon

"Okay, I tracked down Phillips. He's in prison in North Carolina doing 30 to life for murder. That leaves us with four more. Let's head over to the hospital and see if Castle can shed any light on the last ones. Might save us some time."

Ryan stood and grabbed the keys to the car and motioned for Esposito to move his ass along. They still weren't comfortable with working together but Ryan had another agenda entirely and couldn't care less about the Puerto Rican's feelings.

It's not what he was being paid to do.

* * *

><p>University Presbyterian Hospital<br>Friday 1pm

Kate Beckett smiled at the two officers who were guarding the floor elevator and stepped off and handed the one officer the two coffees she'd brought for her and Castle.

"Hold these. Okay, check your list again. Katherine Beckett to see Detective Richard Castle. I'm on the list. It was confirmed by the Precinct. Check it. Go on, I'll wait."

She smiled sweetly when all she really wanted to do was pour the hot coffees into their collective crotches. It had taken The Mayor's Wife two days to get Bob (he and Beckett were on a first name basis now) to work the authorization down the pipes into the hands of the two cops and their sacred list.

"Just doing our jobs, Ms. Beckett. Someone tries to whack one of our own, we get very protective. You're cleared. He's in 803."

She walked down the hall and into Castle's room and closed the door, lost in thought. A man was injecting something into an IV port and he wasn't wearing scrubs but rather jeans and a filthy t-shirt under a dirty trench coat.

"Hey! What the hell are you doing?" She immediately went on the attack. She was a black belt 2nd Dan in Tai Kwan Do (attained in her late 20s when she was researching a _Hunter Towns_ novel) and this scrawny middle-aged Asian man should be no match for her.

She was wrong and soon realized she was up against someone much stronger, faster and more skilled than she.

The room was too cramped to allow for the sweeping kicks, jumps and acrobatics you saw in a movie fight. It size allowed only a series of short kicks, blocks, strikes, punches and attempts to gain the upper hand in a silent test. Castle slept on, and Beckett was too absorbed in staying alive to even think to call for help.

She finally made a mistake and found herself against the wall and unable to breathe, a forearm crushing her windpipe.


	3. Tit for Tat an Exchange of Basic Info

Just realized that I'll be partying this weekend and won't be near a computer so here's a twofer to tide you over. Bought Amanda a Miata convertible for her 18th b'day on the 4th and we're going into Galveston to pick it up as soon as she 'gets ready'. Probably tomorrow considering the speed with which she selects, tries on, selects again, tries on, you get my drift.

If I'd known grandchildren were so much fun, Mariah and I would have figured out a way to have had them FIRST!

Enjoy the holiday. Keep it on the black stuff between the trees.

OM

* * *

><p>Mirror Image by Oldest Man<p>

Part 3

She was seconds away from unconsciousness when the forearm crushing her airway disappeared. She was hunched over trying to catch her breath when Esposito and Ryan walked into the room and saw Castle slamming his gauze-encased fists over and over into some guy's face.

Ryan grabbed at Castle's shoulder and got an elbow in the nose for his trouble. Esposito wrapped his arms around Castle's and stopped the pummeling and the unconscious would-be assassin dropped to the floor without Castle's weight pinning him to the wall.

"Ryan, cuff her and then get those two security guys in here. Jesus, Rick, it's Javier Esposito. Quit fighting me. You got him, Rick. You got him good. He won't be hurting anyone ever again. He's going to get the needle for killing cops. Oh, man, look at your hands."

"He was choking Aurora. Check on her. I don't feel so hot, Espo. Make sure she's okay. I'm gonna pass…"

* * *

><p>Friday<br>7pm

Roy Montgomery was pacing in the corridor outside Castle's room. Heparin. The attacker had been identified as a high-priced hit man with both Yakuza and Tong connections, Mickey Tanaka. He had injected most of a syringe full of the blood thinner into Castle's IV before he'd been interrupted by the novelist/shadow, Katherine Beckett. She'd made a valiant attempt to stop Tanaka but was no match for his skills. She was currently sitting in a chair in Castle's room drinking coffee and quietly talking with Esposito and Ryan. She had been really shook up and totally lost it when Castle collapsed.

Kevin Ryan sat beside her, drinking his own nasty nurses' station coffee and wondering if he'd wake up in the morning with two black eyes.

'_I promised Jenny I'd find a safe place to work. No more black and blue bruises, no more shoot-outs…'_

"So, you're the big-time novelist who's going to be following us around, huh? Castle's going to love that. Sorry about earlier but we didn't know who you were and it's standard procedure to cuff you."

"No problem. I get it. You didn't know who I was and Castle was in trouble. I get it. So is he going to be okay? No one will tell me anything at all because I'm not 'family'."

Esposito walked in after talking with a nurse to find out about Castle's condition and treatment.

"He's on some kind of counteragent, that's about all I know. Man, I can't believe he messed up that guy with his hands like they are. He was really on an adrenaline rush. Tanaka's upstairs in the prison ward. He's pretty much brain dead. There's going to be a lot of hell for that. I can hear 'Police Brutality' charges being typed up now."

"What? He saved my life. He shouldn't be punished for doing his job. He caught a serial killer all by himself. He should get a medal not criminal charges."

"The Grand Jury will investigate and drop the charges. It was clearly self-defense and he wasn't really in his 'right mind'. I agree. He should get a medal but the bleeding hearts will say it was revenge for killing DiGrasso."

"They were close?"

"Going to move in together after they got back from admin leave. He was serious and she was finally coming around. Only one he was closer to was Lanie Parish, the M.E., but she screwed that one up nearly two years ago. Yeah, he and Aurora were close."

"He's not going to be happy with me being his shadow, is he?"

"Nope. But he's a good cop. He'll suck it up and follow orders. Just don't expect a lot of cooperation or a lot of personal insights. He's private. More so now, probably."

She'd run up against worse situations and prevailed. She'd just use the gifts God graced her with and he'd be putty in her hand just like all the other tough guys she'd worked with. She was already planning intimate dinners for the two of them at her place to discuss the more personal details of police work.

She'd already picked out her main character's name: _Brick Rhodes_.

* * *

><p>University Presbyterian Hospital<br>Room 803  
>Wednesday 9am<p>

His hands alternately itched and burned which everyone told him was a 'good sign' meaning the skin grafts on the palms of his hands were being accepted by his body. His face felt tight and he'd conned a nurse into letting him see himself in a mirror. Bad move. He looked like a piece of ham grilled in places but raw in others – and he peeled, unlike ham.

Castle was not at all thrilled with the Captain's decision to leave him on convalescent leave while the pieces of Tanaka's killing spree were organized into some semblance of order. He felt like he was being cut out of the process and pushed away into a corner and he didn't like it one bit. He'd be at loose ends in the apartment with nothing to distract his mind from -

His mind kept torturing him with the image of Aurora sitting in his car dying in the flames. Intellectually, he knew she was dead within a second or two of the blast but the image was burned into his brain and it flashed across his mind at the most inopportune times.

The whole thing with Tanaka made no sense, none whatsoever. Why was Capaldi's body dumped in his jurisdiction? He had a random thought and clumsily dialed the Precinct on his cell. He didn't have it on speed dial for some reason.

"Ryan, Homicide."

"Kevin, this is Castle. Got a question for you. Can you check on the dump sites for Tanaka's earlier victims and see what precinct the dump occurred in? Something's off with this whole thing. Tanaka's a professional and this whole thing is too contrived and structured to be anything other than a series of well-planned moves against our old team."

"I'm on it. I'll call you back as soon…as I get the flowers ordered, Jenny. I think that's a nice thing for your mom. I'll call you back and confirm the order. Bye."

'_Smart kid. Someone walked up and he didn't want to broadcast what was going down. Esposito better watch his step if he tries to pull the wool over Ryan's eyes.'_

He was bored and tired and his hands began aching. He fumbled for the self-medicating button and gave himself a jolt and slipped into a restless sleep.

* * *

><p>University Presbyterian Hospital<br>Room 803  
>Thursday 2pm<p>

Kate Beckett stopped at the elevator and smiled at the two now-familiar cops on duty. She carried a coffee carrier with four cups and a bag from Remy's – more a bribe than lunch.

"Afternoon, Kate. Glad you came today. The coffee here is terrible and I was going into withdrawal."

"Well, take your usual. Anyone been up to see my hero?" She'd been there everyday but he'd either been in burn therapy or asleep when she visited.

"No. He's got no family and the squad, what's left of it, is busy with the day-to-day stuff. You're his only visitor really."

That made Beckett sad for some reason. She was constructing a scene in her mind where Brick Rhodes was in the hospital and several lady cops had been making regular visits and her alter-ego, Karen Hackett, had been almost beside herself with jealousy. He was her detective and they'd better not try anything.

She leaned against Castle's door jamb and quickly dictated the scene into a small digital recorder. Satisfied, she put it back in her purse and walked into his room.

Maybe it was the rustling of the paper bag containing his lunch or something else but she found herself looking down the barrel of a 9mm he could barely hold on to. She let out a quiet 'EEK' and Castle smiled a greeting.

"Sorry. I wasn't fully awake yet. I guess you're Katherine Beckett, my shadow. Sorry for not shaking hands, Beckett, but I'm not supposed to touch anything not hospital issue."

"Pity the poor nurse who has to give you a shot – you might give her one in return." It was a poor joke but the best she could do on the spur of the moment.

She handed him his coffee, black with two sugar packets, and arranged herself in 'her' chair and smiled at him.

"Aren't you glad to see me, Castle? I had to wait in line for hours just to get these few precious moments alone with you. I need to talk to my agent, Paula, and have comfortable chairs arranged along the line of readers at my book signings. Their poor feet."

"Beckett, thanks for the coffee but you really don't have to make this daily appearance hoping to catch me awake. I'm fine now, in part thanks to you, and soon I'll be out of here and back where I belong and you can write your Magnum Opus from the volumes of notes you've taken and be free of me. Not at all what you expected, was it? Spending your 'shadow time' watching me sleep or watching an empty bed. I hope the guys gave you enough 'atmosphere' and tall tales to help you write your novel."

"Castle, you're like an onion and I haven't begun peeling you yet."

It was true. He was a fascinating character and she could see big dollar signs when she thought about the 'Brick Rhodes' franchise revenues and royalties. A girl had to be practical about things. She didn't need a man to "take care of her".

"So, tell me about Richard Castle. Not what I can read in your NYPD public bio file. I mean the real you. Why did you become a cop? What motivated you? And why Homicide?"

"Beckett, why are you torturing me? You come here, bring me coffee, dangle that bag in front of me and then ask questions. What's in the bag, Beckett?"

"Oh! Sorry. I asked around and they said you ate lunch at a place down the block from the precinct, Remy's, and I went there and asked what you ordered most often and, voila, a hamburger, medium, with pickles, onion, mustard, no mayo and steak fries."

"Give! Man, thanks, Becks."

His simple pleasure and the nickname 'Becks' made her feel good about what she'd done. Maybe he'd open up. The way to a man's heart was through his stomach, or so she'd read in grammar school. She didn't want his heart. She wanted his soul – for her book.

"Okay, why be a cop?"

"Okay, Beckett, every question deserves an answer, agreed?"

"Yeah. So why become a cop?"

"So why become a writer? Answer me and I'll answer you. Equal exchange of information. Quid pro quo."

"When I graduated from college I quickly discovered that 'English Lit' wasn't marketable unless you were going to go into teaching and perpetuate yourself and I had a little money left over from a Trust Fund – hey, don't look at me like that. My folks died when I was young and they were anal about insurance and so, yeah, I was a Trust Fund baby. I went through foster care from 15 until 18 before I could access the money. Then I got custody of my little sister and got her out of that nightmare."

Castle was surprised by her admissions. She obviously was rich and he'd thought it was from 'old money' and had felt resentful but if she'd been in foster care, there was steel underneath that attractive exterior.

"I graduated from high school, had no job prospects and no money so I went the usual route – Army. Spent three years playing soldier but I found I really liked the structure, discipline and purpose being a grunt provided. On 'Civie Street' only the police force provided it. So I signed up and 18 years later, here I am."

"Okay. Why Homicide?"

"I like puzzles, mysteries, and although most murders are 'crimes of passion' and spontaneous, there are quite a few that are well-planned and executed and those are the challenges I crave. That and providing some 'reason' to the families of the victims. I answer the question I hear most often: Why?"

"And what about those families who have to go without the answers?" She was referring to unsolved crimes.

"We work 'unsolveds' when we can. I don't like leaving that question unanswered, Beckett."

"Eat before it gets cold, Rick." She noticed he was having trouble holding the hamburger so she got up, walked over to the tray table and took a plastic knife and cut the burger into bite-sized chunks.

Her mind was already trashing written chapters based on his comments. She was also restructuring Brick Rhodes in her own mind. He was no longer 40ish with fading good looks and limited potential who needed a non-traditional partner to solve mysteries.

"You mentioned a sister, Becks; what's she up to?" He was curious about her. On the surface he'd been so sure she was one of those rich, stuck-up broads with money and connections. Her comments about having a sister and springing her from foster care had surprised him.

"Margot is a serial-heartbreaker and currently awaiting divorce from rich husband #2, or is it #3? Hell, I can't keep up with her. We're not that close. Truth to tell, I don't think she even likes me very much. She took off at 20 and other than the occasional phone call or article I read about her in the tabloids, I don't know much about her life. She's 28 and a definite free spirit."

She tried to lighten the tension caused by his inability to handle his food. She picked up a bite-sized morsel and held it between her thumb and forefinger.

"Open wide, Rick. Take a big bite for Kate. That's a good boy!"

She wiped his mouth gently and watched as his tongue swiped across his lips gathering mayo that lingered there. She felt warm. There was something so damned sexy and arousing about it.

"So, Beckett, why write spy novels? You been a spy? How do you 'know' what spies do? Got context for that, too? Tag along with James Bond or someone like him?" He picked up a steak fry and seemed at loose ends as to what to do with it.

"Ketchup."

"What? I didn't catch that."

"I forgot ketchup for your steak fries. I'm sorry. Next time."

He hadn't even noticed. Aurora was the ketchup –

'_Don't go there! Danger. She'll never order a 'cheeseburger with everything, hold the cheese' or empty the Heinz bottle all over her plate and complain it __still __wasn't enough for her fries.'_

Beckett saw him turn ghostly white and was afraid he was going to pass out on her. He closed his eyes and she could see moisture building up on the lashes. He was thinking of _her_, and she'd somehow triggered a sad memory.

"Hey, Castle, I've got to run. I'll see ya tomorrow and we can finish our chat. Anything you need? Books, magazines – "

She had to get out of there. She couldn't handle any emotional scenes. She busied herself with cleaning up the luncheon mess, avoiding eye contact.

"No, I'm good. You don't have to do this every day, Becks. You do have a life outside of shadowing me. Go live it."

Out in the corridor, she leaned back against the wall, taking a few deep breaths.

'_I wish I had a life. I'm lonely. I want someone who will love me and cherish me and would mourn my passing the way Castle does his Aurora.' _

She waved goodbye to the two security cops and then left the hospital and drove to her publisher's office to start Gina or one of her researchers on Castle's background.


	4. Guilt and Bonding and Curiosity

Mirror Image by Oldest Man

Part 4

* * *

><p>Beckett was upset with herself for how badly she'd handled the situation with Castle. It really wasn't anything she'd done but she still felt responsible for his sudden melancholy. She'd have to be very careful of what she said or did in the future if they were going to avoid such events.<p>

She needed more information on Castle and his relationship with Aurora DiGrasso. Aurora was a beautiful name and she, if she would admit it to herself (but she wouldn't) also wanted to know more about her, too. '_Back story purposes'_, she told herself. _'I'll get Gina to have one of her people do some research.'_

* * *

><p>Black Pawn Publishing<p>

"Gina, I need some in-depth background research done on Richard Castle. His bio's in the file. I need to know everything there is to know about him, not matter how trivial."

"Professional information or personal?" It mattered to her and her team. Research was expensive.

"Everything."

When she and Esposito and Ryan had talked, she'd gently pried into Castle's background but met one facet of the famous (or infamous if you were on the wrong side) 'Blue Wall'. Cops stuck together. She wasn't a cop. She was shut out. Between personal loyalty and the 'Blue Wall', she'd been shut out.

She needed someone who knew Castle but was not part of the day-to-day establishment. She checked through her notes and found just the person she needed to speak with for more reasons than simply 'back story'.

* * *

><p>City Morgue<br>Medical Examiners Office

"Ms. Beckett, I don't know what you want me to tell you. Detective Castle is a courageous and driven man who is also a bullheaded, pigheaded, stubborn, inflexible, unforgiving and totally unfeeling male example of the NYPD species you'll ever come across."

'_Jesus, it's true! Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!'_

"Actually, I find him to be very 'feeling'. He's mourning the loss of someone very close to him. Several times I've seen it. The watering of the eyes that he quickly either closes or turns away from the public eye, the painful look when something reminds him of his former partner. It's all there if you just observe carefully."

"And you've been carefully observing him? Well, I suppose you can use those human moments, few and far between though they may be, in your story someplace."

"So, how long have you been in love with Castle? I've been told you two were together but something happened. Three years ago, right?"

"I'm gonna kill Esposito. He's the only one on the roster there at the 12th that knows the whole damned story and I suppose you're gonna put that in your damned Pulp Fiction book?"

"Wait a minute! Esposito didn't tell me anything. It was another cop from another division of the Precinct. A guy from Robbery, tall, good looking, well built, speaks well and seems well mannered. He was in the waiting room after Castle's attack and we sat and drank coffee. I didn't catch his name. It was after I ran into Esposito's version of the 'Blue Wall'. He just started talking. His goal was to get me to go to dinner with him. Good looking guy but not so well-endowed with subtlety. I hope he asks again. I might say yes."

"Demming. Tom Demming. He and Castle used to be close friends until he hit on DiGrasso so blatantly that Castle finally had enough and took him to the woodshed. Still, Tom's his friend, kind of. He did come to the hospital to see Castle, after all."

"So, Castle played the Knight in Shining Armor role to DiGrasso's Damsel in Distress? That's when it started between them? Seems, I don't know, contrived."

"Looky here. There's nothing 'contrived' about Rick Castle. What you see is what you get. He didn't 'save' DiGrasso, he just beat the crap out of Demming. DiGrasso was one of Castle's squadmates and as such, was 'untouchable' per the Castle Doctrine. They didn't even start dating until 6 months after that."

"Pretty specific time frames, Dr. Parish."

"It was six months after we broke up, Castle and me. We really weren't together but he thought we were and when I started dating someone else, he quit coming around."

Kate used one of her patented pauses that usually created a sense of discomfort in whomever she was interviewing and this time was no exception.

"Okay, that's not totally true. We were 'together' but I did something really, really, uncharacteristically stupid, and started seeing someone new on the side, someone different and when that ended, I was uncomfortable around Rick and I pushed him away. He took the not-so-subtle hint and six months later he got together with Aurora at a party and never looked back."

"You _cheated_ on Castle?" She found herself beginning to dislike the M.E.

"No. No. He knew I was uncommitted and he lived with it until I kinda declared myself 'in a relationship' and he backed off. When it cratered, when I finally figured out that scene was so not Lanie Parish at all, he wanted to pick things back up but, like I said, I was uncomfortable and pushed him away. Way far away."

"Okay, but tell me about Aurora and Castle. What were they like together? How did it affect the job? This is the part that I use to build my characters. It's what makes my fiction suck people in."

"He's read your stuff, y'know? Not exclusively. He reads anything and everything. Has books in his apartment that could fill a rural library. I mean once he conned me into going to a reading you did, oh, at Borders, I think. You were pretty impressive up there and I don't think our boy even blinked during the entire reading."

"Really? He came to a reading?" That made her happy and smug at the same time. Maybe the shadow routine would work, but not if he was some 'fan guy' groupie.

"Yep. Enjoyed it, too. But I think he just wanted to find a connection between the writer and the book. He's like that. Looking for connections. It's what makes him a great cop. Curiosity."

"So, about Aurora DiGrasso?" _Back on topic, Kate. Stay on topic._

"She was a local, born and raised in Brooklyn and proud of it. Her entire family are cops. Her brothers are cops. He dad was a cop, just not very family-oriented. It was her heritage. He fit in with her family. They all liked him."

"How did their relationship affect their jobs? You said she worked for Castle. What about his _'Doctrine'_ ?"

"They kept it private. Everyone knew but they kept it 'unofficial' and private. The Captain was okay with it. Montgomery is a very fair but tough man. If he thought for one second it was encroaching on job performance, one of them would have been gone."

"But she was transferred to another Precinct?"

"Castle's Doctrine came into play. At some point he must have heard or thought that someone made a comment about DiGrasso's getting a pass or a free ride on her back and Castle found her a slot and had her transferred. The Captain was in favor of it. DiGrasso was pissed but apparently her dad had heard the same comments and he definitely approved of Castle's move."

"So they were living together after that?" She wanted the rumor confirmed.

"Well, she still had her place but yeah, for all intents and purposes, they were together. They were making it official the night she was killed – it was Castle's birthday."

"So he loved her then? I mean it wasn't just 'friends with benefits'?"

"I'ma gonna smack you, Kate Beckett, for even – wait. That's not fair. You never saw them together. Rora had made up her mind that Castle was hers, and she was just going through the motions of making it official and ending all those rumors and comments about her 'sexual preferences'."

"I don't understand." She was totally confused. Had she missed something?

"That relationship I had that broke me and Rick up? It was with Aurora DiGrasso."

"Oh! Well, that's, um, that's surprising. Somehow I thought it might be something more fundamental, like a difference in education or – "

"Or race? Admit it, it has crossed your mind. Dark chocolate and white milk? Well, it mattered to my folks at first but later, after he'd been around them in a lot of different situations, they realized that the man was colorblind. My dad still had lingering doubts but after I dumped him, he took me aside and read me the riot act. Accused _me_ of intolerance – _me!"_

"Actually I hadn't thought about that. I guess it never occurred to me that you were – intolerant."

"I wasn't. I was too damned embarrassed to admit that I'd strayed from the norm. My dad's a preacher and very Intolerant himself of some things."

"Fine. Back to Castle. What should I be on guard against? Taboo subjects? Pet peeves?"

"He doesn't share private moments, Ms. Beckett, ever. If you find him telling you something about his past or his relationship with DiGrasso, you're far ahead of the pack."

"Like if I knew why he became a cop, for instance?"

"Yeah. He wouldn't even tell me about it. I had to pry crap outta him a fact at a time. He's not very open about his early years. I don't think he even would have mentioned Meredith or his marriage if someone else hadn't asked him about his kid, y'know?"

"He's married? He has a kid?"

"_Was_ married. Ever watch _Temptation Lane?_ The redhead with the killer body and boobs for days who plays – "

"Her? He was married to 'Lilith' in _Temptation Lane?"_

'_That's my only day-time sin. Temptation Lane. I love to hate that damned redheaded heartbreaker, Lilith.'_

"Yep. Met her on the job. She'd had a break-in at her apartment and he was working Robbery back then. It was lust at first sight. They got married in a few months but then production moved to the West Coast and so did she and Alexis. Damned shame. She dumped him for a producer she'd been screwing and left him with a hole in his chest and alimony payments. Three years down the drain. He doesn't trust women easily. Probably not at all, now."

"Lanie, maybe we could get together for drinks or something from time to time? I need a woman's perspective on this and I'm totally outside my comfort zone. I don't know what to wear, how to act. Can you give me pointers from time to time?"

"Sure. Just make sure Rick doesn't think you're milking me for information. He's a very private person and I think of him as my very best man friend. He's been very supportive of me and Javier and even runs interference from time to time. Don't screw with him, Beckett. He doesn't deserve it."

"Not my intention at all. I'm glad we talked, doctor, and I hope we can become friends. It would be nice to have an M.E. to ask technical questions of. I like to get the details right, y'know? The Devil's in the details."

* * *

><p>OM<p> 


	5. Hearing and Smelling

A twofer weekend. I'll be posting later this week. Got Mrs. July and a houseboat.

A dear friend once wrote that 'nothing is so intimidating to a writer as a blank sheet of paper' or in my case, a blinking cursor on white Word page.

This is the last 'set up' chapter.

* * *

><p>Mirror Image by Oldest Man<p>

Part 5

University Presbyterian Hospital  
>Room 803<br>Monday 9am

Castle was fidgety and uncomfortable. He wasn't used to being in a bed for more than 8 hours. Being trapped in a hospital bed with occasional trips to therapy or the bathroom was Hell. This was the 16th day of his 'involuntary incarceration' and if it hadn't been for his 'shadow', he'd have gone nuts within the first week.

This morning, however, his fidgeting was due to his visitors: a judge, his union-appointed attorney, an Assistant DA who was almost as uncomfortable as Castle, and a court stenographer.

"Let the record show those in attendance and the location of this deposition for the record. Now, Detective Castle, if you feel the need for medical intervention or assistance at any time, feel free to use your call button. Seriously, Castle, don't squirm around in pain if you need the drugs. Just tell us so I can go off the record."

"No drugs, your Honor, I'm okay."

"Fine. Tell us what happened in this room on the date in question. Be as specific as you can. Your medical condition at that time has been entered into the record from your medical files so just tell what happened in your own words."

"I was asleep or unconscious, I don't know which, when something woke me, maybe those two kung-fu'ing each other, I don't know. He had Aurora up – no, that's not right, it was Becks, er, Beckett, he had her against the wall and was crushing her throat with a forearm and – "

"Take your time, Detective, we have all morning and no one's in a hurry."

The Judge glanced over at Katherine Beckett sitting in the far corner of the room watching the proceedings since she was there to fill in 'blanks' although she'd already testified before the Grand Jury.

The Judge smiled when he recalled her feisty and fiery defense of the Detective. She'd been very specific in her comments to the ADA – the most amusing of which had been 'conducting a fucking witch hunt to take scalps for the next election'.

"I guess I got out of bed, tore out the IV and then pulled him off her and hit him. I remember Ryan, ah, Detective Ryan, trying to pull me off Tanaka and I elbowed him in the face. Didn't know who it was then. Tanaka had been hitting me in the ribs and stomach, trying to disable me – "

"Let the record show that bruises consistent with the Detective's testimony have been confirmed and are part of his medical file already in evidence. Go on, Detective Castle."

"Esposito grabbed me around the arms and my hands were killing me all of a sudden and I guess I passed out."

"I think we have all we need. Detective Castle, thank you for your – "

"Your Honor, I have questions for this witness." The ADA, Phyllis Stark, interrupted the judge, earning her a glare.

"Proceed, Ms. Stark."

"Mr. Castle, you stated that you thought he was choking

'Aurora' before correcting yourself. Is the 'Aurora' you thought you saw, the deceased, Aurora DiGrasso?"

"Yes."

"So you were actually running to rescue your girlfriend, not Ms. Beckett, isn't that right?"

"I guess so."

"Oh, come on, Mr. Castle, sure you were. In your physical and mental state, you saw your dead girlfriend and rushed to her defense. Then, in a fit of rage, you pummeled Mr. Tanaka repeatedly with your fists after slamming him against the wall, isn't that right?"

"I guess so. I really don't remember exactly how we got on the other side of the room. I just remember trying to get him to stop hitting me."

"Really, Mr. Castle? Mr. Tanaka is now in a vegetative state in this very hospital as a result of your brutal assault fueled by your desire to avenge the death of your girlfriend. How could he possibly have fought back when you'd _fractured his skull!_"

Castle paled and Kate started to stand when the Judge pointed at her and said, "Ms. Beckett, remain seated. Ms. Stark, save the theatrics for the trial. We're here to determine the events, not the outcomes. Detective Castle was receiving morphine via IV and as such was hardly in a position – "

"Your Honor, isn't that for the Grand Jury to decide?"

"I don't need some crusader from the 'Police Brutality Brigade' lecturing me about procedure. One more 'correcting statement' out of you and I'll find you in contempt. I warned you in court Friday and in chambers. You've been warned. The next 'correction' will cost you $1,000 and 10 days in jail."

"Since you're obviously biased in favor of the defendant, I have no further questions, _at this time."_

"Ms. Stark, upon the ending of these proceedings today, you will present yourself and your check for $1,000 to my Bailiff who will escort you to the city jail for your vacation. I warned you, Ms. Stark. Perhaps you could temper your desire for 'justice' if you'd remember that Detective Castle has not been charged with a crime and that your use of 'defendant' clearly implies that you, rather than the Grand Jury, have made the decision as to his 'guilt'. Go back to your boss and tell him that 'scalps are not for sale' in my courtroom. He'll understand. Of course, he's going to have to wait 10 days to receive my message."

The 'hearing' closed in short order and the Judge leaned over to Castle and said quietly, "You didn't do anything that anyone else wouldn't have done. Forgive yourself. He killed DiGrasso and then he came to kill you. Don't sweat the Grand Jury. Get healthy and back to work. Don't let this eat at you. And take a few minutes to calm Ms. Beckett down. I think she wants to kill Ms. Stark."

He chuckled and then waved his entourage out of the small room. He glanced at Beckett and smiled.

The door closed and Beckett let out a growl and started cursing. She spewed combinations, words, grunts, all with descriptive hand gestures.

Rick started to laugh but stopped when Beckett fixed him with a glare.

"What's so damned funny? That bitch of an ADA wants your head on a platter so she can make points with her boss. You should have – I don't know, maybe smacked her or something. She was goading you, using your grief against you, trying to – "

"Becks, it's okay. It's a game with them. They have to make a drama out of everything but in the final moments, it'll all be for nothing. The Grand Jury will tell her to screw off and I'll be in the clear. Hell, I wasn't in my right mind. If they did indict me, it'd be 'temporary insanity' and I'd be home in a week."

* * *

><p>University Presbyterian Hospital<br>Room 803  
>Friday 2pm<p>

Roy Montgomery walked into Castle's room and he immediately felt the first quivering of the butterflies in his stomach.

"Castle, the Grand Jury cleared you but – damn it, this is so much damned bullshit! You are on paid administrative leave pending a series of therapy sessions with a department–appointed 'therapist'. I'm sorry, Castle, but the DA talked to the Mayor who talked to the Commissioner who talked to the Chief who gave me no choice."

"How long? How long until I can get back to work?"

"Two months. Less if you can bullshit the shrink with some of your famous Castle charm."

"That means what? I sit on my ass at home and watch the paint peel? The Grand Jury let me off. Why's the department punishing me?"

"The ADA as much as told the DA that you are both unstable and unsuitable to wear a badge and carry a weapon. The DA's running for reelection and wants to make points with certain members of the constituency."

"Fine. I'm being discharged this afternoon. I suppose your visit and my discharge are pure coincidences, right, Roy?" He'd never used the Captain's first name before, ever.

The captain handed Castle a manila envelope. "There's the paperwork you need to complete and send to headquarters. They'll set up the first appointment with the shrink and from that point on, it's all up to you, Rick."

"I could always tell them to kiss my ass. Resign."

"And do what? Go to work for Brinks, Fingerhut, one of the other security services? If you're serious, I got the names of people in _legitimate_ areas that could use your services. Contractors are training the Iraqi and Afghan police forces. You'd make better money."

"I'll think about it. I'll send in the paperwork on Monday."

"Remember what I said. Charm them and get back to work. If that doesn't work, call me at home for my contacts. You've almost got your 20 years in, Rick. Maybe it's time to think about your future."

Rick nodded his head, looking down at the envelope that contained his future. He heard Roy leave and then he threw off the sheets and got up to dress.

And found an immediate and pressing problem – he had no clothes.

He fumbled for his cell and called Lanie Parish.

"Parish. Is this the one and only crispy Rick Castle?"

It was the wrong thing to say and she immediately grimaced when she thought about what she'd said and how he'd take it.

"Yeah. Listen, I need a favor, Lanie. I have no street clothes and I'm being discharged this afternoon and I can't walk out of here wearing this gown. You still have a key to my apartment?"

"I think so. Why?"

"Can you please bring me some underwear, sweats and sneakers? I think that will get me out of here."

"Are your hands still a mess?" Skin grafts required special care and she wondered if he knew how involved it could get and how he couldn't handle it alone.

"They took off the dressings. They're bright red and the skin is stiff but I got some lotion to use and some special 'glove dressings'. I'll be fine."

"See ya in an hour. Things still where they used to be? In a pile on the floor?"

"No. She – they should all be in my dresser drawers. No more messes. I even use the dishwasher."

Lanie started to say something but knew no matter what she said, it would only make matters worse.

"Like I said, see ya in an hour."

* * *

><p>Lanie had a juicy and perverted thought. She called Kate Beckett.<p>

"Hey, girlfriend, it's Lanie. Castle's getting sprung but has no clothes and I'm running by his apartment to pick up some stuff, wanna ride along? I'll let you check out the Barbarian Love Nest in advance of your first visit. Y'know, check out what toys he has, what games you two might want to play…I'll lend you my handcuffs."

"Dr. Parish, I'm so not that kind of girl. Is he – I mean, is he into that kind of stuff?" She had no desire to be around anyone who reminded her of her hell in foster care.

"Oh God, No! He's so straight you couldn't find a deviation with a laser ruler. I just thought it might give you some insight into how he lives. It'll be clean. Boring, really. He's got books for days. You might be interested in some of the titles."

"I'll pick you up in 30 minutes." Kate wanted a good reason to see Castle again and this was a golden opportunity. She could also see what help he needed and either provide it herself or hire someone to do it.

She had money and now had a reason to spend it on something other than useless junk.

* * *

><p>Medical Examiner's Office<br>Parking Lot

"This – this is your ride?" Lanie loved cars. She loved expensive cars. She loved Kate's car. Her chariot. Her 4-years-of-salary car. Her Aston Martin.

"It's leased through the corporation. Sadly, the lease is up in 3-months and I have no idea what I'm going to replace it. Got any suggestions?"

"Let me think about it. An Audi R8 Spyder! It's so you!"

"Actually I was thinking along the lines of a Bentley."

"Ugh! Girl, a sedan? It screams 'rich OLD lady'."

Kate laughed. "I was thinking more along the lines of the Continental Supersports. Y'know, 0 – 60 in 3.7 seconds."

"Promise me – promise me you'll let me drive it? Please? I'll be your – your pipeline of current events for the 12th. Esposito tells me everything."

"Well, c'mon there, Mata Hari, get in. If your information is worth something, I'll let you borrow it for a weekend."

* * *

><p>Castle's Brownstone<p>

"He lives here?" Kate looked at the well-maintained old mausoleum. Why would one man want to live in someplace so big? Four stories.

"Oh, he's in the process of buying it. It's 4 units, 1 per floor and he leases out three. He's got the top floor. Calls it 'Castle's Keep'."

The elevator was very old style kitsch. The entire interior that she could see was perfectly maintained in the same style of the original 1900s building period.

"He does all the maintenance except for union work. It's his only vice. Well, he drinks, but that's hardly a vice now, is it?"

They stepped off the elevator and Lanie's nostrils flared.

"Beckett, stay right here. Don't move. I mean it. Call 911 on your cell and tell them 'Dr. Parish says dispatch detectives and a forensic team' to this address.

"What? What's going on?"

"Shut up! Stay put! Do what I told you." She reached into her purse and pulled out a small pistol. She was technically a police officer and had permission. She carried it but had never used it – until now.

The door to Castle's apartment had been forced and Lanie's acute sense of 'crime scene smell' had smelled death.

She pushed open the door and suppressed a girly shriek of horror. The body of a man was tied to a kitchen chair. It looked like the Butcher's work. She wouldn't know until she got the body on the table at work.

The body was old. At least two days, maybe more. She sensed Kate behind her and whirled around and shoved her out the door but it was too late.

"My God, Lanie, where's his skin?"


	6. Reluctant Guest Appearance

it's short but a setup chapter.

* * *

><p><em>Mirror Mirror<em> by Oldest Man  
>Part 6<p>

Castle waited impatiently for Lanie to bring his clothes. He answered his cell after seeing her name in the ID.

"What's the holdup, Lanie? Trouble finding things?"

"Oh, I found something alright! A body tied to one of your kitchen chairs. The Butcher dropped by your place. Same M.O. as with Capaldi. Your place is now a crime scene."

"Any idea who the victim is, Lanie? One of the guys on the list?"

"I haven't a clue. The body's 2 days old and it's in somewhat better condition that Capaldi's was. At least I won't have to spend hours matching up parts."

"Okay. I'll borrow some scrubs and slippers and get a hotel room or something. I guess my apartment's off limits until you guys get done, right?"

"Yeah. Listen, you can stay with me if you want. I'm sure Javi will understand. I do have a spare bedroom, Rick, if that's what you're worried about."

"No. I think a hotel room someplace is a better option. I don't want you put at risk. Whoever this monster is, I'm sure to be on his list sometime."

"Wait a minute. Kate Beckett wants a word. She was with me when I went to pick up your clothes. She saw the body and was pretty shaken but she's got it together now."

"Castle? It's Kate Beckett. Get those scrubs and I'll pick you up in 40 minutes. You're staying at my place until things shake out. I have 4 bedrooms and I'm hardly ever there. The place is secure and Roy says he'll send a detail to watch over it. Also, he says to drop the paperwork off with the watch detail and they'll get it to him."

"Beckett, that's putting you in the crosshairs. Not an option, Becks. This guy is out to either get me or all those I worked with. You'd just be another body to him. Thanks for the offer, I really appreciate it but – "

"And I suppose a hotel room is secure? I have a penthouse loft with only one stairwell and a private elevator. The building has cameras and an alarm system the Pentagon would envy. Do this for me, okay? You'll have your privacy and I don't entertain so no guys will be walking around naked to offend you."

He laughed at her tone. He hadn't thought about it but she was right. He would have been offended. He valued his privacy and he was sure, since she was a celebrity, that she valued hers even more.

"Just for a few days, no more, Becks. And I cook for you, okay? It's the least I can do."

"Fine. Deal. 40 minutes. I'll come up and explain things to the detail and give them directions and the building layout. I should be thanking you. I don't cook. And I get to pick your brain over lunch and dinner."

"What about breakfast?"

""Who the hell is awake at such an ungodly hour?"

* * *

><p>Beckett's Loft<p>

Castle was immediately impressed with the security. The very wealthy were apparently exempt from the building codes. There were none of the mandatory fire escapes that made thieves chortle in delight to mar the exterior. Beckett's loft had thermo pane windows with tamper strips and sensors, both motion and sound detectors and there were plates under the plush carpeting in the hallway that alerted the occupants if anyone was in the hallway.

"Rick, your room's up and to the left. There's a shower only, I'm afraid, but considering your hands, it shouldn't be a problem. There are fresh towels and linens and there's a man's robe hanging on the door. Once we get your clothes from your apartment I can run the scrubs through the wash and – what's wrong?"

"If this is going to make you uncomfortable at all, Becks, I can get a hotel room. The department picks up the tab so money's not an issue. You're awfully nervous and talking a mile a minute. Having a stranger with a bull's eye on his back in your home on top of all that's gone down might be a little too much for you. Just call me a cab and I'll be out of here in a jiffy."

"No, Castle, that's not it at all. I'm just – well, I like you and I don't want you to think I'm some rich bitch lording her manor over the serfs, that's all. I want you to be comfortable, that's all."

"Kate, this place is awesome and I can't tell you how much your offer to stay means to me. Just – calm – down. You worry too much about what others think. I worry about what you think. I'm not a dirty cop, Kate. I've never been on the take and so far as I know, none of the guys on that list were, either."

"Look, it's like I said, Rick. I really like you. You're – real and don't have ulterior motives for what you do. You look around and feel free to use any of the stuff. I have a totally awesome plasma TV that I never watch, an entertainment center I never listen to, but I have a first class personal library that you can browse through to your heart's content."

"Why do you have stuff you never use?" It was an honest question.

"Well, I guess because it's expected of me. I mean I'm a reasonably young and successful author and I make a lot of money and I spend it on stuff that piques my interest or I think I need. If you think this place is cluttered, you'd freak out at the house out in South Hampton. Oh, do you sail? I have a sailboat but I can't sail, or swim very well, either. Do you?"

"Yeah, I know my way around a deck but if you don't swim well and you can't sail, why own a sailboat?"

"Well, it's pretty. I like the way it looks tied up to the dock thing. I spend time on it, Rick, so it's not wasted. I've had a few small parties on it. It's nice and I like it."

He muttered something under his breath but Kate's hearing was incredibly sharp and she heard it.

"I'm not a fool and it's my money if I want to part with it. All I have is money. I don't trust easily, Castle, and thus my circle of friends is very small. But I trust you, Castle, otherwise you'd be on the way to a Motel 8 and hoping they left the light on for you."

"Sorry. Sometimes the mouth operates independently from the brain. Of course it's your money and you can do what you want with it. I just look at money as more of a survival tool than boredom relief. And thanks for trusting me. That means a lot to me."

"Fine. Now, what do you need me to buy for dinner? You were going to cook, right?"

She wanted the subject off of money. She had a lot and spent it foolishly in his opinion. She frequently did but also had investments and real estate that made up for her moments of fiscal madness.

"Let me check out your refrigerator and I'll let you know. Anything you don't like? I don't want to slave for hours and hours preparing a delicious repast fit for a Princess only to find out the smell makes you vomit."

"If it's in the refrigerator I eat it. Isn't that logical?"

"Well, I thought maybe you bought some things because you liked the color pallet or the texture or because it was ridiculously expensive." He had a smile on his face and she knew he was kidding.

"Okay, be mean. I've handled literary critics for years. A mere homicide detective is child's play. I don't have 'mad food moments', Rick. Honest."

"Can I bring up a touchy subject?" He wanted to discuss her reaction and impressions about the body in his apartment. She was a writer and he'd noticed how she looked at things differently than a cop did.

_'He's going to ask me why I don't have a 'man friend', I just know it.'_

"Well, you've pretty much maligned the crap out of me so sure, go ahead. Ask away." She was sure her eyes were scrunched up as if in anticipation of a great blow.

"What were your impressions of the crime scene today? Not 'oh, my God, a dead man', but details of the scene. What would be your motivation if you wrote it in one of your books? Body placement, stuff like that?"

"Huh? That's your 'touchy subject', Castle?" She was relieved but also pleasantly surprised by his question. She always brainstormed scenes but having another person participate was different – refreshing even.

"Well, yeah. What were you expecting?"

"Not that. But I can handle your question. Actually, it's a damned good question. Let me think for a minute."

"Take your time. I can appreciate the 'creative process'." He smiled and her stomach fluttered for a second. _'Ignore it and it will go away.'_

"Okay. The killer obviously expected you to be the one to discover the body. It was arranged as a 'welcome home, Castle' scene. It would have been the first thing you saw after you armed yourself because the door to your place had been forced open."

"Why?" He wanted details.

"It was a statement. 'Look what I did and I did it here. There's no place safe for you. No place' – "

"Kate, take a deep breath. Calm down. Anything unusual about the scene?"

"You mean other than a naked man minus his hands and feet and head?"

"What? That's different! Lanie never mentioned it."

"Rick, remember, you're on administrative leave until – "

"That's a bunch of crap! I'm a candidate for the Rubber Gun Squad. Those papers you mentioned – they're for a Psych evaluation."

"You're kidding? They think you're – that damned bitch of an ADA! I'll be she's behind this! She wanted your scalp, Castle. I saw the look on her face. She was hateful."

"We're straying from our discussion. Missing his hands, feet and head would make identification difficult if not impossible."

Kate added her other observation in a halting whisper. "And his skin. He was missing his skin."

* * *

><p>Short but I'm working on other things. Elena will reappear. Amazing what one word in one sentence can change outlooks.<p>

OM


	7. Hypnotism, Victory Dances and Doughnuts

Been fighting the plague. He's a Sunday morning entry in the 'Wasting Bandwidth' contest.

* * *

><p><em>Mirror Mirror<em> by Oldest Man  
>Part 7<p>

Beckett's loft

"Kate, I need you to calm down. Here, sit on the couch. Close your eyes and take deep breaths. Now, visualize the scene when you came up behind Lanie. Keep your eyes closed, Kate. Breath deeply and slowly. Look around. Tell me what you see."

He was holding both of her hands with his bandaged ones. He wanted her to have a point of focus outside what was going on inside her head. She sat forward on the leather couch until their knees were touching. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath and sent her mind back to Castle's Brownstone.

"There's a body seated upright in a kitchen chair. It's got a strap around its chest, maybe a belt, holding it upright. The body has swollen and the strap or belt is cutting deeply into the tissue."

"Is there blood on the strap, Kate? Can you see if there are bloodstains?"

"Funny. There's no blood anywhere. There's a black trash bag folded into a square under the chair but it's clean. The feet have been hacked off at the ankles and – ", she gasped and Castle gently squeezed her hands.

"It's okay, Kate. You're here and you're safe. You're remembering, that's all. I won't let anything happen to you."

She took a really deep breath and shuddered. Castle let go of one of her hands and moved a strand of hair out of her face and then held her hand again.

"Go on, Kate. Tell me what you see. You're safe. You're with me."

"The head's gone. It's been chopped off and there are ragged pieces of flesh and muscle dangling off it. The smell, I'm going to be sick – " Her eyes flew open in panic and she jerked her hands out of Castle's and ran up the floating stairs to the upper loft and he heard a door slam.

* * *

><p>He sat back and mentally recapped what she'd said in terms he could relate to. He didn't blame her for getting sick. He'd lost it at the original Butcher dump site as had Lanie Parish.<p>

'_The body was a staged presentation so that it would be the first thing I'd see. There was a trash bag under the chair to catch any fluids that drip through the floor and might alert someone below. There was no blood on the body or on the strap securing the chest to the back of the chair.'_

He heard Kate coming back down the steps and hadn't realized he'd walked through the sprawling living area to the windows. She had a beautiful view of the Park and the other buildings that lined the street in front of the Park.

"Sorry. I – it just got really intense for a moment. Do you do that often?"

"What? Smell bodies and get sick? Yeah. Sometimes it hits without warning but most times I at least get a few feet away so I don't contaminate the scene."

"No, I meant hypnotize people to recall events and small details like that." It had been so real. It had been like she was there again but this time she wasn't afraid. His grip on her hands had anchored her firmly but the smell –

Castle chuckled and turned and started to say something but the sight of Beckett barefoot in just a tank top and shorts brought him up short.

'_Must have puked all over herself, poor kid.'_

"All I did was take you back there and your mind did the rest. One of the best recall sessions I've ever heard of. Listen, I think maybe I'd better leave. This is – "

"Why? Just because I changed into something comfortable? I'm not trying to seduce you, Castle. I don't care what you've heard about me. I – " She knew she should have thrown on a robe but this was available and more comfortable.

"I was going to say that I think the Butcher has me under observation. He's watching me. The scene in my apartment was staged so that no matter how long I was gone, the 'present' he left would still be there, undiscovered. The trash bags, the open windows Lanie mentioned to me, it all points to that. It means he could come here next or go after you or – "

Kate felt real fear. She hadn't thought it through like Castle had. She hadn't put her head in the mind of his adversary like he had. She didn't have nearly the grasp on _this _reality that he did.

"You're right. But if he's watching you, why take the chance you'd show up or go someplace else while he's staging his own personal diorama? Maybe he's got 'ears' in your unit or department? It'd be easy to call into the nurses' station and give them some BS about being a cop and check on your status."

"Becks, you need to take some time off and leave until this whole thing shakes out. Go to your other house and forget about this. Write about someone else, shadow someone else. This is too dangerous for a civilian to be involved with."

"You're on leave. Maybe he tracks you by following the guys attached to you? Maybe you just have to disappear but still work through your squad to get leads and information."

"Not something I can do. Or afford. I have to get the paperwork done and see about these evaluations or I can lose my job. The DA worked his magic on the Mayor. It's not an option."

"Well, let's see what happens when the Mayor's wife works her magic on the Mayor. Let me give her a call, Rick. It can't hurt and may help."

Before he could say 'No', Beckett had the mayor's wife on her cell phone and was schmoozing the woman and after a few minutes she brought up her 'shadow's absence' and after a few more minutes she hung up and then pumped the air in 'victory' and did a little dance. He knew she was a beautiful woman but he'd never seen the 'girl' in Katherine Beckett before. He was entranced and almost missed what she said next.

"You're not going to be on leave much longer, Rick. Sylvia's going to talk to Bob and he'll talk to the Chief and the paperwork will be rescinded. God, I'm good."

"Just like that, huh?" He smiled at her and she glanced away shyly.

"_How does he do that? How does he smile and make things seem so much better?"_

"That really doesn't change things, Kate. He's still out there and I can't go home."

"But at least you will have your team back. And the resources of the department. We did pretty good there with our brainstorming. Theory building is a precursor to plotting out a novel and seems to parallel how you guys work your magic."

"Let's get back to the problem at hand. If I have eyes on me – there are other guys on that list. Why just me?"

"Don't know. What's the status of the others? Any common backgrounds? You said something about having Ryan check some stuff out for you but you were pretty loopy at the time."

"And that brings us full circle to Tanaka. He wasn't the Butcher. We don't even know for sure why he was trying to snuff me. You're right about one thing though, I need to check in with Ryan."

He called him on his cell rather than go through the department. He remembered how he changed his 'presentation' when someone over heard him. Smart kid.

"Hey, boss. Been waiting on your call. Of the eight guys on the list, we've contacted 4. Ramirez, Campos, James and Ramirez have been given protective details and put on desk duty. You and Matt Capaldi have been accounted for leaving us – "

"Billingsley and Archuleta. What do their Precinct commanders have on them?"

"Billingsley's on medical leave. Back surgery. Archuleta's wife said he left on a fishing trip the day, uh, the day – your birthday and he hasn't touched base since. He's fly fishing in Wyoming or someplace out West. No cell service. Goes every year at this time."

"Does Lanie have anything on the guy in my apartment?"

"Here's where it gets interesting. He's a retired cop so his DNA was in the system. Been on pension the last 6 years. Guess where he worked?"

"Ryan, I'm not in the mood for guessing games."

"Sorry, boss. He ran the evidence room at your old precinct. Almost qualified for disability but the department pensioned him off. Like I said, that was 6 years ago. Name's – "

"Saunders. William Saunders. I remember him. A real stickler for his damned records. Weighed and tallied all the dope we brought in and tagged and bagged it and had two counts made of any cash. Then it was bagged or put in the safe for the DA's office to request an evidentiary review. Man, getting into the evidence locker was harder than getting into a nun's habit."

"There's more, Rick. Saunders got rich somehow. Right about the time you transferred out to Homicide, our boy filed for disability and went on medical leave. To Jamaica. Spent 2 months there. Came back, took retirement and then bought one of those fancy houseboats down on the river and started living the _Vida Buena._ We're pulling his financials back as far as we can."

"What about his family? I thought he was married. And he had a kid, Jeremy. Wanted to be a cop like his dad."

"Wife died in Jamaica. Sudden Cardiac Arrest. Had a bad ticker. Now that I got the kid's name I'll run him. Call me back tomorrow for an update – between 10 and 11. Fewer ears."

"I owe you one, Ryan. Great work."

"Well, I _am_ a detective, Boss."

Beckett had been listening to the conversation since Castle had put it on speaker. He was right, Kevin Ryan was a gem in the rough. A very thorough and competent researcher who was also very astute.

"You know I'll offend a few hundred thousand readers with that _'nun's habit' _line, doncha?" She was talking around a doughnut, her earlier bout of nausea forgotten, and offered Rick a sampler plate.

"Nah. Too late in the day for that much sugar. Eat mine, though. You could use a couple of extra pounds."

"Ha! A compliment and an insult in the same sentence. You really know how to sweep a girl off her feet. I have a high BMR and I exercise and keep fit. My only weakness is the occasional, and I stress, _occasional _doughnut."

'_Does he really think I'm skinny? Thin, maybe, but skinny? Maybe another doughnut wouldn't hurt. Especially the ones with the chocolate icing and sprinkles.'_

"Becks, you know those houseboats moored along the river, the 'mansions on water'? How much does one of those cost?"

"Don't know but I'll find out for you. I'll call Gina and have one of her researchers give us a price range."

Beckett snatched up another chocolate-covered doughnut and called her publisher and assigned her the task. She was used to these off-the-wall questions from Beckett.

Two doughnuts and a cup of coffee later and Castle had his answer.

"Gina says the small ones go for $200K to half a mil while the really nice ones are $2 million plus. Mooring fees are between $400 and $2 grand a month. And then there are utilities, insurance and other fees."

Castle sat down across from her and looked pensive.

"So where's a sergeant on pension get that kind of cash?" Beckett said around another doughnut.

"Better lay off the doughnuts, Becks. Don't want to get fat." He ducked the half-eaten doughnut she'd pegged at his head and laughed. Maybe being a 'kept man' for a few days wouldn't be so bad after all.


	8. The Setting, The Dinner and the Skirmish

Been under the weather but here's something to keep your head in the game.

OM

* * *

><p>Mirror Mirror by Oldest Man<br>Part 8

Beckett's loft

Between them, they wrote their 'established facts' on a large marker board she had affixed to a wall in the area of the loft she termed her 'creative nook'. She normally used it to plot stories but now used a computer pad to do so.

It was in a windowless corner created by two intersecting brick walls and a series of free-standing bookshelves loaded with old books, stacks of manila folders with papers hanging out, tablets, several older model computer carcasses and a mound of magazines, newspapers and the occasional paperback book, face-down to an open page.

A kneeling desk dominated the nook and the floor was covered with pillows of every size and description and some were mounded up to form an impromptu 'nap nest'. She blushed when she told him her name for it and Castle had a few interesting thoughts about the author and her workplace but dismissed them as quickly as they'd come.

A series of track lights and floor lamps provided illumination. Although it seemed haphazard, someone who knew the occupant and her working habits and needs very well had obviously designed the room to suit her. It was a comfortable mess.

"Castle, we're going to have to get you some clothes. Those scrubs are fine for now but I'll bet you will feel better in clothes of your own."

He looked down at the scrubs and chuckled. They were definitely not his style and the shirt was definitely too small.

"Yeah, maybe Lanie can sneak in and throw a few days' worth in a bag. I'd go over and flash the badge but I don't want to risk anyone seeing me. Maybe at night. I don't know. I'll call the Doc and see."

He wandered through the open area shaking his head. _'So damned much space for one pretty little girl.'_ He flipped open his phone, paged down the contacts and hit 'Lanie P' and waited.

"Hey, Rick. How are you and Little Miss Inquisitive getting along? Need rescued already?"

"We're getting along just fine, Dr. Parish, ma'am. Seriously, Lanie, I can't waltz around here in scrubs that are too damned tight on me. Think you can slip back to my apartment and bring me some clothes? Just a couple of days worth. I can't stay here and put her at risk any longer than necessary. She's a civilian."

"Well, Castle, technically speaking, you're a civilian, too. Give me her address and I'll see what I can do after work. 'Too tight'? Oh, Rick, you know what too tight bottoms do to me, remember? I'll bet Beckett is already plotting a sequel."

"She's not like that at all, Lanie. She's – nice. All that crap in the newspapers is just publicity. She's – look you got the address. Call me if there's a problem, okay?"

"Well, you could always just lay around in bed naked and then you wouldn't have to worry about clothes until Forensics releases the scene."

"Speaking of which – anything on the vic? I already know it was Willie the Watcher, Lanie."

"The decapitation and amputations were post-mortem as was the 'skinning'. Y'know, the press has caught wind of this and they've changed the name on ya. Your Unsub is 'The Skinner'. Real catchy name."

"Anything else?" He was growing impatient with her constant sidebars. He wanted information not gossip.

"COD was anaphylactic shock induced by an allergic reaction from peanuts. Someone laced his last meal with finely ground-up peanuts. Whoever did it knew him really well, Rick, because it's not even in his department health records."

"Good call. Let me know about the clothes. I'll run this by Kate and see what we can come up with. Thanks, Lanie. Saved my butt again."

"Well, it's such a nice butt – hey! Since when do you 'run things by Kate'? You better not be doing the nasty, Rick Castle. She's got a rep – she goes through men faster than - "

He hung up, laughing. Kate had listened to his side of the conversation and smiled at his description of her – 'nice'. Well, it beat what some others called her. Frigid. Asexual. Unfeeling. Insensitive. Cold. She knew them all and while some were extreme, there was a grain of truth in each of them.

"Anything new on the victim?" She wanted to steer the conversation clear of him leaving. He was a gold mine of information, slang, attitudes and ideals. And she liked having his company. It was nice to just be 'Kate' and not have to assume 'postures' she found uncomfortable.

"Damage to the body was all done after he was dead. He died from a food allergy, peanuts. Someone ground up peanuts and put it in his food. Anaphylactic shock."

" Do you think it's related to the other murders? I mean he's not on the killer's list."

"Of course it's related. My apartment, the same M.O., yeah, it's related. C'mon, Kate, skinned and left in my apartment?"

"Dumb question but still not an acceptable answer. Saunders wasn't on the list found in the first victim." 'In' was such a disgusting term considering where the M.E. actually found the list.

"Look, I'm starved. Let's chew on this over dinner. Point me to your kitchen and I'll see what you have that's edible and whip something up. I did promise to cook for you."

* * *

><p>Dinner was simple but delicious. Bourbon chicken, new potatoes and a glazed mixed-vegetable dish.<p>

"Wow, Castle, if you stay here for more than a week I'll have to hire you as my chef. This – this stuff was in my refrigerator?"

"Well, the Bourbon was in the booze area, but yeah, it was all there."

"Where'd you learn to cook like this? Were you a cook in the military?"

"No. I – my ex-wife worked evenings, nights, weekends and I just cooked since she was dead tired when she got home. She worked Broadway, some off-Broadway but then got the Big Break with _Temptation Lane_. I just got into the habit but our schedules were out of synch so I had to learn quick and easy stuff. You can freeze these leftovers and microwave them."

They ate mostly in a comfortable silence with just the clicking of silverware and the occasion 'clink' of a wine glass hitting the table. Kate finally felt comfortable and brought up the case.

"Rick, where does your 'houseguest' fit into this? Do you think it's a warning? Y'know, back off or this is you?"

"He wouldn't have blown up my – my car if that was his intention, would he? No. Harassment, intimidation, who knows. By the way, the press has gotten hold of this. The Butcher is now 'The Skinner'."

Kate's house phone rang and she excused herself and answered.

* * *

><p>"Tell her to come right up. Put her name on the list so you don't have to call every time she shows up."<p>

"Rick, Lanie's here with your clothes. I told them to send her up. Do you need to tell the detail anything?"

"They know her or of her. It's okay. So, desert?"

Kate rolled her eyes and grinned. The man had more layers than an onion – a really big onion. She already had her Karen and Brick sharing intimate dinners and building theory about cases. Much like she and Rick were doing – without the intimacy.

Kate went to answer the door and Rick went into the kitchen to whip up the mousse. He set out three bowls since he knew Lanie was always hungry when she was horny. He'd have to razz Espo about it. Feeding her didn't help but it was fun just the same.

He put the three bowls on the table and whisked the others into the kitchen. He had made coffee and brought out three cups while Kate was talking to Lanie.

"Hey, Parish! Glad you could make it. Kate and I were just sitting down to coffee and desert. The mousse you seemed to go nuts about."

She looked at Kate with a raised eyebrow and Beckett blushed and asked her to join them. It was the last thing she wanted – a vulnerable Rick with his ex-girlfriend who still carried a bonfire of a torch for him.

"I brought your clothes, Rick, although if you took my – "

"Dr. Parish, thank you. Now, eat and we'll go over what your findings have been so far. Kate's got opinions that, so far, are unsubstantiated but are possibilities. Hey, she squared it so I get to come back. Still have to do the psych evaluation but it's not a deal breaker."

"Esposito and Ryan are tracking some stuff down for you. I think Roy's giving them a lot of room and freedom to operate on some 'stuff' that's not active. Call Ryan tomorrow."

"I already talked to Kevin today. Best addition to the squad since – he's good. Good researcher."

"You know the body had been dead for sometime before he put it in your place, don't you, Castle?"

"Yeah. Kate noticed that there was no bloodstains on the belt or strap holding it upright in the chair and no fluids on the plastic bag either."

"Really? 'Cause all I remember is the scream and someone covering her eyes and trying not to hurl down my back, Rick."

There was a sudden sexual tension in the air as pheromones of estrogen were flushed out of pores and into the air. Rick was no expert when it came to the 'gentler gender' but even he knew something was up between the two ladies. And he was sitting right in the middle.


	9. Old Flames

Some of you apparently thought you were going to observe a 3-way sexual marathon. Shame on you. You know I don't do 'M'. Mirror Mirror by Oldest Man.

Sorry for the brevity. Not all that sparky today.

* * *

><p>Part 9<p>

Beckett's loft

"Um, I think I'll go get dessert. You ladies can duke it out over whatever seems to have irked the two of you. I don't want to know. Ignorance is bliss. Bliss is good."

He got up and left the 'ladies' who were shooting each other looks that raised the room temperature a few degrees.

"I was _not_ getting sick, Dr. Parish. I was shocked, stunned, yes, but not getting sick. Why did you say that when you know it wasn't true?" She didn't want to appear 'weak' in front of Castle.

"Maybe it's because you shared things with him that are my job! Imagine if I started critiquing your writing. Would you like it? No? I didn't think so."

"Look, it wasn't exactly voluntary on my part. He did something like hypnosis and I just recounted what I remembered. I had no idea I remembered stuff like no blood on the belt or – "

"Okay, Beckett, I guess I can overlook it this time. Really, he does that Swami act on witnesses enough that he's got it down to a science. Amazing what we 'see' but don't actually know we saw it. So, how you and Rick getting along? He's got to be nervous being here with you. I'm surprised he didn't opt for the hotel."

"He'll be back on duty as soon as the Mayor makes a few phone calls. Lanie, did you know that he has to undergo a mandatory psych evaluation! That's just not right!"

"It's a department rule. Can't have a guy with a gun out on the streets if he's borderline 'postal'."

"It's that damned assistant DA. She's got it in for Castle! She's the one who pushed the DA to make the suspension in the first place."

"She and Castle have an adversarial relationship, that's for damned sure. Phyllis was a Public Defender and she and Castle crossed swords many a time. For a while, they crossed more than swords, if you get my drift. Something happened though and she ended it and transferred to the DA's office. She and Castle called it quits but man, can that woman _hate!"_

"She better watch her step or I'll devote an entire chapter to making her a victim of a serial killer – the skinning and cutting kind."

"Don't let Castle hear you saying things like that. He's 'sensitive' and you don't want to upset his delicate digestion."

They shared a laugh and then Lanie got serious again.

"So, seriously, how's he taking this 'confinement'? This has got to be the nicest prison I've ever seen."

"He's nervous as a cat. He's so – uncertain about things. He starts to say things and stops. He's very careful about what he says to me…mostly 'how' he says them."

"He's always been that way around women. You should have seen the sparks fly around the Fibbie Jordan Shaw! She took over one of Rick's cases because it turned out to be a serial job and man, Rick went ballistic! He told her right to her face that if she were man, he'd knock her on her ass!"

"What'd she do?" This sounded like an interesting character for her novel. Perhaps a love interest but then she remembered her primary character for that role but filed it away for a future novel – perhaps a second 'Brick Rhodes' one? _Or even an entirely new series revolving around a woman FBI agent who stalked serial killers? _

"She challenged him to a sparring match. Javier told me it was like watching some kind of ballet. Shaw would dance up and clock him one and he'd shake off the blow and then knock her on her ass with a judo or karate thing and she'd bounce back and pop him again. Went on like that for 10 minutes before someone stopped it. They were both bleeding and Castle's nose was broken and Shaw had one eye almost swelled completely shut."

"How'd it end?"

"Well, she and Castle finally caught the killer and they both disappeared for a few days and Castle was in a good humor for a few weeks. She swings by every once in a while to check on him and he's in good mood for a another week or two."

"Friends with benefits?" She felt uncomfortable with the thoughts of this Shaw woman and Castle but squelched them and looked to Lanie for her answer.

"Not after Aurora came on the scene. Shaw was getting over a divorce and I guess she used your boy for stress relief. It's common among cops, Kate. The job destroys relationships that aren't solidly based on mutual trust and understanding about the job."

Kate sucked up the insights, already building scenes in her mind. Her fingers itched to get it all down on disc before the ideas got lost.

"Lanie, he's not my boy. There's nothing 'boyish' about him." _'Except his smile, his grins, the way his eye sparkle when he's kidding me…nothing really 'little boy' about him at all'._

Castle figured the flare-up was over and risked life and limb by carrying in the mousse and setting it at the table. He sat down and smiled to himself. Whatever crisis had arisen seemed to have solved itself and the two women had been chatting amiably with Beckett listening in rapt attention.

"Okay, you can quit talking about me behind my back. Lanie, yours is the one without the whipped cream."

"And just how did you surmise that Beckett didn't want whipped cream on hers?"

"She tried to brain me earlier for saying she should lay off the donuts."

"I threw a donut at him. He was being mean. Lanie, do you think I'm fat?"

"Nope. You should double-down on the whipped cream. Fat, nope. No way. Castle, when the shrinks are done with your head, maybe you should swing by and get your eyes examined."

"Thank you, Dr. Parish. See, Rick? Lanie doesn't think I'm fat."

"I didn't say you were fat, Becks. For a writer you have a terrible grasp on past events."

"Your _exact_ words were '_Better lay off the doughnuts, Becks. Don't want to get fat'."_

"Get fat, Becks. A future state. Not your current one, that's for sure." He looked away, uncertain if his comment had gotten him out of the hole or if he'd just dug himself in deeper.

"He's got you there, Beckett. '_A future state_' implies that the current state is the opposite."

"I thought you were on my side, Lanie. Jeez, you cops sure stick together."

"The famous Blue Wall."


	10. Prynne and Proper

Mirror Mirror by Oldest Man  
>Part 10<p>

* * *

><p>Beckett's Loft<p>

Day 2

Rick had turned in the captain's paperwork and was now incredibly bored. Beckett's library had offered a interesting insight into the writer's interests and attitudes. In addition to her own 22 bestsellers there were several by other mystery writers such as Spillane, Cannell, and James Patterson.

He found his 'mother lode' on the bottom shelf. She had the entire works of Mark Twain (including the essays written as S. Clemons), Thoreau and Hawthorne. He'd always loved Mark Twain but he held a special love for old Nat's The Crucible and The Scarlet Letter.

He took The Scarlet Letter up to his room and started reading, noting that Beckett would be gone at least another 3 hours at a book signing.

He dozed off with his mind firmly entrenched in the events of the early Massachusetts Bay Colony and soon dreamed that he was making love to Mistress Hester Prynne but was uncertain if he was Dimmesdale or Chillingworth – not that it mattered. _A stiff prick is without conscience_ his Id provided his sleeping mind.

Hester bears the face of Meredith, then a few forgotten women from his past and then settles on Jordan Shaw for a time and then to Aurora. He suckles her breasts as she urges him on, drawing her thighs up along his hips as he thrusts towards his own release but it is the face of Kate Beckett, her lips swollen from his kisses and her eyes squeezed tightly shut in her own climax, that takes him over the edge.

* * *

><p>A Bar near Borders<br>After the Book Signing

"Gina, I'm so excited about this new series. The genre needs new blood and I'm bored with the whole spy business. There's such potential in this new character and his back story and the nature of the crimes will pique the interest of even the most jaded mystery fan."

"Wait, let me write that down, Kate. Sounds like a great blurb for a book jacket. So, you're entertaining a new houseguest? How is he? Any good?"

"Gina, get your mind out of your crotch! Castle's just staying at my place until the suspension's lifted and his own apartment gets cleared as a crime scene." She shivered when she thought about her first view of Castle's domain. The Skinner's handiwork and –

"Hey, do you know how long it's been since I've heard this much excitement in your voice and interest in getting back to writing? Whoever this guy is, he seems to be good for your creative juices. My question is, how good is he for your _other_ juices?"

Gina knew about Kate's problems with men. She empathized with her but soon realized that frustration was a good motivator for Beckett's career. Her best work always came at the cost of a broken relationship or so it seemed.

Her last, with an older French industrialist who had left her high and dry on some Adriatic Island, had been particularly hard on Kate but great for Black Pawn and Gina. She'd flown home and thrown herself into a novel that topped the Time's bestseller list for almost 30 weeks.

"Gina, Rick's different. He has his own issues to deal with and he's still getting over the tragic and fiery death of his last girlfriend."

"See? 'Tragic and fiery'! Those are adjectives you don't normally use! You're telling me about this guy when you should be writing these thoughts! You've got your groove back, Kate. Don't waste time - get cracking. Your fans are clamoring for a new Beckett novel and book signings of old stuff don't generate much in the way of sales."

Gina saw the look on Kate's face and smirked. If Kate's way of dealing with men continued with this Castle guy, Gina and Black Pawn would be laughing all the way to the bank in a few months. He'd dump her as soon as he found out she was frigid and totally unresponsive to a man. Gina knew from one drunken experience after a launch party that Kate wasn't into women at all.

"Then I guess I'd better get back to the loft. Thanks for the booze, Gina. I feel like pounding the keys for a bit. I'll email you an outline for a first _Brick Rhodes_ novel within a week or so. I've already got the bare bones plotted out up here", gesturing at her head.

"Well, maybe if you got cozy with this Rick Castle the creative juices would flow faster, Kate. He could always be a 'guest with benefits'! Appeal to his masculine pride – make him pay rent in bed!"

"It's too soon for him to even think about something like that. I told you, he's really torn up about his girlfriend. You didn't see the look on his face at the hospital – "

"Go. Write. Create. Screw. I have an appointment." They brushed cheeks and gave the obligatory 'air kisses' and then Kate caught a cab back to the loft.

* * *

><p>Beckett's Loft<p>

Castle had taken a shower and gotten dressed in casual clothes and replaced Kate's book on the shelf. He shook his head when the thoughts of his dream crept into his mind and turned his thoughts towards less disturbing issues – the Skinner.

He had talked with Ryan earlier and he'd found nothing new but Rick had sensed an excitement in the younger man's voice and pressed him for his thoughts.

"Boss, the whole 'wife dying on vacation' and Willie's sudden wealth are driving me crazy. I've requested copies of the wife's Will and Probate records. I keep thinking 'follow the money'. I'll let you know what I find out just as soon as the records arrive."

Castle chuckled. The kid had good instincts. He'd make a fine team leader himself in a few years. Esposito had better watch his step. Kevin Ryan was on the fast track to a Chief's position if he kept his head out of the politics and his eye on the job. Some day Rick figured he'd have to call his younger protégé 'Chief' or at least 'Captain' and he wouldn't mind it one bit.

He heard the warning chime signifying someone was in the hallway and he went to the TV and flipped it on to the 'Surveillance Channel' as he called the high-tech security system.

Kate Beckett had just stepped off the elevator. He hadn't seen her before she'd left for the book signing event and now he watched as this elegant woman dressed in 'screw me' heels and a tight pencil skirt and matching jacket walked toward the Loft door. Her hair was loose and curly just as Hester's had been in his dream.

'Damn, she looks good. She looks like a model and walks like a panther on the hunt. I can't believe she's not married or at least seeing someone. Such a waste.'

The 'Dream Kate' appeared again for just a moment in his mind and he smiled and turned off the TV as she unlocked the loft door and made her grand entrance.

Kate didn't see Rick standing near the entertainment area. She called out to him, wondering if he was asleep or perhaps using the building's gym area. She kicked her butt mentally for forgetting to tell him about it. Maybe it would help ease the boredom of his forced stay.

'_Maybe he's gone?'_ The thought of being alone again made her feel uneasy. It wasn't just the whole Butcher/Skinner thing. She really enjoyed his company and she'd miss it.

"Over here, Kate. I was just putting The Scarlet Letter back on the shelf. It's one of my favorites and from the condition, it's one of yours, too."

"Hey, there you are. Yeah, I love it. It's got a lot in it that even applies to today's society. So, what did you do to fill your day?"

She was surprised when Castle blushed furiously.

"Not much. Talked with Ryan and read and then took a nap. How was the Great Event?"

* * *

><p>Kate ordered dinner – Chinese – and cracked open a bottle of wine. Conversation flowed easily and she was surprised at how often something Castle said would make her stop and think about her own life.<p>

"Rick, Bob's wife called me. Hizzoner called the commissioner and got the ball rolling and you should be able to resume your duties just as soon as the psych evaluation is done with. Then I get to be your shadow for a while. I'm looking forward to it and I'm so excited to see how you and your guys work cases."

"Becks, most of the time it's routine paperwork, following up leads, interviewing witnesses and working financials and phone records. There's not a lot of 'street time' so maybe you should just come in when a body drops? I could call you and let you be the judge of whether or not to show."

"Not at first but maybe later. I want to get the feel of the daily 'drudge' although it'll all be new and fresh to me."

"You'll need to undergo a 'basic training' course. It's nothing taxing, probably a cake walk for someone with your shape. I mean, in your shape. You're in good shape, I mean."

She blushed and then laughed. He looked so sweet when he blushed and stammered. She was really looking forward to spending time with Rick.

"When can I start?"

"Tomorrow. I'll call Captain Montgomery and he'll arrange an orientation tour, introduce you around so you won't be seen as an 'unauthorized intruder', and then set up a training schedule."

"Will you be my trainer, Rick?"

"Not until I get this shrink shit over with. Ryan will handle structure and procedure and Javier will cover patrolling rules and get you suited up with a vest and gear. He'll probably flip out trying to find utilities and boots for someone with your um, uh, - "

"Castle! Another dig at my weight and I'll keep the location of the building gym a secret."

"I was going to say 'figure'. Yeah, figure. Our vests aren't really set up for, ah, um – "

"Breasts, Rick? I think that's the word you're fumbling around for."

"Our vests and body armor are very form-fitting, Kate, and someone so – developed – in places might find it uncomfortable."

"A Castle Compliment? That's sweet, Rick. Maybe I could borrow…"

"Aurora's? Yeah. I should have thought of that. Good idea."

That brought a pall over their light-hearted dinner banter and Rick helped her clean up and then went to his room, thoughts of Aurora heavy on his mind.

Kate went to her nook and started hammering out an outline for her new book but her mind kept wandering into areas. She kicked her ass for bringing up Aurora DiGrasso.

From the look on Rick's face, he'd wanted to kick her ass, too.


	11. Settling into Unsettling Situations

If you're a soldier or ever been involved with one, you'll recognize the source of Ryan's uncertainty. If you haven't, just accept the statement for what it is intended to convey.

OM

* * *

><p>Mirror Mirror by Oldest Man<br>Part 11

Day 3

Captain Montgomery had started the process of orientation for a ride-along even before Castle's phone call. Just as Castle had predicted, Ryan would cover procedure and introducing her around the Precinct and its personnel.

Kate had left the loft early enough to beat the traffic and to arrive just as most of the morning shift would. She had dressed conservatively – for her – and wore 2" heels (Castle had vetoed her 4" heels as 'attractive but not practical'), a lightweight shell under a pants suit that probably cost more than his annual wardrobe budget. She'd pulled her hair back into a tight 'business bun' and asked for his approval.

"So, how do I look, Castle? Appropriately attired for a day at the 'cop shop'?" His approval was important to her and she looked at him in anxious anticipation.

"You look great. The shoes may yet be a problem, Becks, if you have to run in them, but the rest is – nice, really nice. You look nice, Becks." He wanted to tell her how beautiful she looked wearing minimal makeup and dressed to kill but he kept his thoughts to himself.

* * *

><p>Kate caught a cab to the Precinct and met with Captain Montgomery who handed her a 'training schedule', wished her luck but stopped her before she could leave his office to meet Kevin Ryan.<p>

"Ms. Beckett, Castle says you're ready for this and I believe you can handle things. The question is, can you handle Castle when he gets back? He's impatient, demanding, stubborn and driven. Keep that in mind when you're tagging along. Ask questions but not at inappropriate times and he'll be honest. Choose the wrong time or the wrong question and he'll cut you off at the knees. Be careful out there. If you can't handle Castle, I'll arrange for another detective to be your shadow."

* * *

><p>Kevin Ryan was a writer's ideal of the typical Irish cop: congenial, humorous and easy to get along with. She already knew he was smart but she'd been surprised by some of his comments and insights. He was a rich vein of cop-lore for her for her to mine.<p>

"Ms. Beckett, Patrol and Administration are on the 2nd floor, Booking and Holding are on the 1st floor, the 3rd floor is Robbery and the Bunco Squad and the basement is where we have our gym; the range is in the other half of the basement along with all the mechanical stuff like HVAC that doesn't heat in winter or cool in summer."

She liked Ryan immediately. He was _obviously_ Irish and she'd learned that all his family were cops back to when 'we first got off the boat at Ellis Island'. He was thinking about getting engaged but wasn't sure if his girlfriend and police work were compatible.

"She's marrying you, Kevin, not the police department. And for the 20th time, it's Kate or you can call me 'Becks' like Rick does."

"Rick? Oh, Castle! Okay, Becks, it's this way. A cop's life is like a soldier's. When you leave in the morning, there's no guarantee that you'll be home that night, either because you're caught up in something or you're dead."

He plowed on, almost unable to stop. He could tell this civilian and get some feedback. She was a virgin to the world of Homicide and he figured her reaction would pretty much mirror Jenny's.

"Some women, and some men who marry cops, can't handle the stress or the separation. The hours are lousy, the pay isn't always great and there's always the possibility that you won't make it home again. She's got to be able to handle that and Jenny – I'm not sure about her yet."

"So it doesn't matter if you love her – she has to be able to handle your job, too?"

"Ms. Beckett, I have two older brothers and both are divorced because their wives couldn't handle the stress and pressures the job brings to a marriage. My oldest brother has two kids he sees every third weekend and for a whole month in the summer. He hardly knows them. I don't, no, I _won't_ end up like him."

Beckett had already written a scene where Castle's partner, no, _Rhodes'_ partner, brought the issues of divorce into the squad room. It was fertile ground for a subplot.

They spent the remainder of the day going over procedure. She learned what things she could be involved in, how to respond to any press questions and a lot more that she hadn't even dreamed about. The manual he gave her had over 200 pages of procedural steps and it was sorted through by 'category' or situation.

"Okay, Beckett, that pretty much finishes up my phase of the orientation. Esposito will start in tomorrow and you may want to wear less – um – clothes that aren't so nice. You'll be tested for physical limitations so if you own a set of sweats, bring them and sneakers. Read the manual."

"I suppose there's going to be a test?" She was half-joking but Ryan's next words brought home the seriousness of the job.

"Every day, Beckett. You'll be tested every day in real life situations. If you fail, you're gone. Castle will not risk civilians on a ride-along unless they're fully cognizant of risks and limitations. But don't feel badly. He's harder on us than he will be on you. Just listen, observe and save questions for when it's appropriate."

* * *

><p>Beckett's Loft<br>6PM

"Anybody home?" Kate had opened the door to the loft and it felt strangely empty and when Castle didn't answer her questioning greeting, she felt the emptiness permeate her, too.

She kicked off her shoes and walked barefoot into the kitchen and stopped. The oven was on 'warm' and there was a note on her pristine stainless steel refrigerator that read 'In the gym. Dinner warming in oven. RC.'

She felt a smile break over her face and she dashed upstairs and changed into her workout clothes – spandex shorts and a loose tank top. She pushed on some sneakers and grabbed two bottles of water from the refrigerator and went down to the gym.

* * *

><p>Building gym<p>

Kate got off the elevator in the basement and turned down the narrow corridor toward the gym and the pool. She stopped at the double glass doors and just stared.

Castle was beating the crap out of the heavy bag, punching, twisting, randomly snapping a kick at imagined ribs and legs. There was something brutally beautiful about the scene.

His gray Police Athletic League t-shirt with 'Coach Castle' emblazoned across the shoulders was soaked and stuck to him like a second skin. His gray shorts were also soaked and clung to him in areas they weren't designed to advertise but did.

She felt little beads of sweat pop out on her upper lip and across her brow. He was dripping with sweat and each punch against the bag made droplets rain off him. She didn't know how long he'd been at it, but at the current pace it couldn't have been long. No one could keep up that pace for more than a few minutes.

She pushed open the door and he caught the movement out of the corner of his eye and smiled. "Hey, Kate! I'll just be a few more minutes." He didn't even seem winded.

Kate dropped her sports bag and went and steadied the heavy bag and her action seemed to spur him on to more abuse. She was forced back a step more than once when he'd hit the bag with a side or scissors kick.

She figured he'd been at it for a while before she got there and wondered when he'd have his heart attack or heat stroke. She finally released the bag and stepped back just as he delivered a crushing front kick to his 'opponent's chest'. The bag flew back and knocked her down onto her butt.

"Kate!" Castle was on his knees running the tips of his fingers through her hair looking for signs of damage.

"It's my ass that's hurting, Castle. I didn't hit my head."

"I didn't realize you'd let go of the bag and I just let fly. I'm sorry, Becks, it's all my damned fault as usual."

"N-no, my fault. Should have stepped further back. Stupid. Ow! My butt's gonna be black and blue tomorrow." She wanted him to stop touching her, to stop running his fingertips through her hair thinking she'd struck her head. It wasn't her head she wanted him to touch so gently.

He scooped Kate up like a baby and carried her to the elevator and then to the loft. She hadn't stopped laughing despite his concerns. It felt good to be fretted over. Once he got her comfortable, he planned on running back down to the gym and bringing their sports stuff back.

He gently placed her on the couch and got a good whiff of himself and shuddered.

"Kate, I'm going to run down stairs and bring back our stuff. I'm taking your key. Don't get up. Stay put. I'll be right back."

Castle was down and back in record time and threw the deadbolts on the door and went to check on his injured hostess. She wasn't on the couch where he'd left her and he called out her name.

"In the kitchen. I'm going to eat this standing up, Rick. I haven't fallen like that in years. I was caught totally off guard and forgot all that I'd learned in martial arts about falling."

"You will definitely want to soak in a hot bath, Becks. If you're stiff and sore in the morning, I'll call Espo and let him know you took a fall sparring and get you a few days' rest before you test."

"Do you put all your tag-alongs through such rigorous testing? It's no wonder it's not a widely used program."

"The 12th doesn't fool around with safety of civilians, Kate. If you wig out in a crunch situation you might get someone else killed or hurt or turn a situation into a confrontation. The risk is too great and getting a famous author killed would create an unbelievable amount of paperwork."

He had smiled at that and set out plates on the breakfast bar but suddenly remembered where he was.

"If you can curb your appetite, I'm going to take a quick shower and change. I don't want your appetite ruined by my 'manly scent'. If you're starved, dig in. There's salad in the 'fridge' and you can pop the veggies into the microwave and you'll be ready for a gastronomical treat."

He was gone in an instant and she wondered if he knew how much of a turn-on his 'manly scent' really was? The mix of whatever he used for body wash and his own natural scent were like pheromones that subtly struck her like a truck, creating a nagging frisson of something she hadn't felt for a man in a long time. Desire.

She lost herself in her own imagination for as long as it took him to shower and change and she was startled by his sudden reappearance. She felt flushed and hoped she wasn't blushing.

He'd changed into Dockers and a Henley and looked good – really good.

"I'm suddenly starved, Castle. Feed me." Once again he was reminded of the image he had of her in the hallway, the hunting panther – a very hungry panther.


	12. Beckett Chooses and Castle Loses

The time line is advancing. Castle leaves the loft and Kate starts shadowing him but whatever connection she thought they'd forged in their brief period in the loft has disappeared. Given clearance by the department's 'Mental Health Professionals', Castle throws himself into the job to escape his grief over losing Aurora and his self-loathing at being attracted to Beckett so soon after Aurora's death. The Butcher seems to have disappeared from everyone's radar although Castle thinks he's still out there – waiting.

Not the best situation for two emotionally damaged people to find themselves in.

…_at night sometimes I see our bodies glow._ Lenore Kandel

* * *

><p>Mirror Mirror by Oldest Man<br>Part 12

12th Precinct

Beckett arrived early carrying her custom coffee travel mug like some prized possession and plopped down in her chair beside Castle's desk.

'_Has it really been six months since I first sat in this chair? So much and so little has happened. I need to review those last chapters before Gina starts her whining. Where is he? He's normally here long before I am.'_

She looked around and saw that both Kevin and Javier were in the break room and it didn't look like the disussion was about football. Ryan's face was red and angry and although his back was turned, she figured Esposito must be mad also considering how the Hispanic detective's hands were flying all over the place.

Curiosity overcoming her good sense, she walked into the break room to say 'hello' but was told by Ryan to 'get out, Kate, this is cop stuff and doesn't concern you.'

She expected Castle to talk to her that way and even Esposito on a bad day but never Ryan.

"No, Beckett, stay. I'm trying to talk some sense into this dumbassed Irish idiot. He broke up with Jenny last night because she said she worried that every time he left he might not come back. Man, all she was looking for was a little reassurance but no – you broke it off with her."

Kate was surprised at Javier's good sense. All Jenny probably needed were some reassurances that he would be careful, worked with good cops, and never took chances. It would have worked but apparently he didn't even try. He just walked out on her.

"Uh, guys, this is definitely none of my business. I was just looking for Castle."

"He's not coming in. Ex-wife problems. Maybe later, I don't know. He called the Captain and he told us. He's taking a personal day. But Kate, don't you think he was dumb, breaking up with Jenny?"

Kate thought about it from a writer's and a woman's point of view.

"Dumb as a bag of hammers, Kevin. Call her, reassure her and see her tonight or call her and tell her you were serious and don't love her anymore. Simple. But do something, Ryan. You owe it to youself and to Jenny."

Ryan looked shocked for a moment and then punched Kate lightly in the arm. "Good advice from a single woman dating a Robbery wimp. I'll think about it, Kate."

"Okay, I'll just head out then. Call me if a body drops, okay, guys? I'll keep my cell on. I should probably get some final reviews done." _'And swing by Robbery and see if Tom's around. Maybe he'd like to come over for dinner? I have all afternoon to make something special."_

She'd met Demming in the ER when Castle had been in the hospital but they'd really gotten to know each other when a homicide had links to an on-going Robbery investigation and the two teams had worked together and ended up solving both crimes.

They'd met for drinks occasionally and they'd gone to dinner a few times. He was easy to talk to, a good dancer and he hadn't pushed her boundaries. She liked that in a man – respect for boundaries. Castle respected her boundaries, even when she eased them closer and closer to herself those last few days at the loft.

* * *

><p><em>Flashback<em>

_Castle made it a habit to always have dinner ready for her when she got in. He knew her eating habits and was afraid she'd eat herself sick on the team's diet of coffee, cigarettes and really bad food from the tamale trucks or hot dog vendors._

"_Castle, I'm home." Kate walked into the kitchen leaving her customary trail of leather jacket, high heels and scarf and finally her purse on the occasional table near the couch._

_She saw the post-it note on the refrigerator and laughed. It always read the same. The note was wrinkled because after seeing it the first time, she'd tossed it into the trash. Castle had dug it out and used it daily for the past week._

_This post-it was clean and pristine and had one sentence. 'At the shrink's lair for final eval. Don't know when I'll be back but dinner's on me tonight.'_

_No signature. None needed. Castle was such a welcome addition to her life that she dreaded how lonely she'd be when he left._

_She sighed and walked upstairs to change into her workout clothes and then hit the gym. She thought she was in shape but after being tossed around the mats by Esposito and then Ryan, she knew she needed to step it up, hence the gym._

_When Castle returned from his final evaluation carrying a letter that said he was no longer a threat to any normal law abiding citizens, he wanted to share it with Kate. The final evaluation had been a Q&A in front of a panel of cops and shrinks. The questions the shrinks asked brought eye-rolls from many of the veteran street cops while the questions asked by the cops raised eyebrows in the ranks of the shrinks._

_He didn't care – he had his letter and all was right with the world._

_He knew she was home because Esposito had sent him a text saying 'Don't expect much in the way of Slap & Tickle from Becks. We worked her ass off!' He added one item to his 'to-do' list – straighten out any misconceptions about Kate Beckett and Richard Castle. Friends, nothing more._

_He walked up the floating stairs and started to call her name when he heard her crying like she was in pain. He pushed open her room door – 'Christ! It's bigger than my damned apartment!' – and heard her crying in the en suite bathroom. _

"_Kate, it's Castle. What's wrong? Are you hurt? Kate? Kate! Damn it, Kate, answer me!" He heard the water in the shower running._

_Getting no response he opened the bathroom door and saw her lying on the floor, half in and half out of the shower enclosure, draped face down across the tiled edge. Her legs were twisted, one drawn up from the knee with the heel almost touching her buttocks and the other rigidly straight out. She was immobilized by cramps and had apparently fallen._

_He grabbed a bath towel and draped it over her and then picked her up and put her face down on her bed._

"_Becks, you're all cramped up and it's gonna hurt but you have to hold still." _

_He grabbed the ankle of the leg where the thigh muscle had contracted painfully and the calf muscles had joined in. He dug his fingers through the towel and into the back of her thigh and massaged the cramp until he felt the muscle loosen and then turned his attention to the calf muscle. _

_A few minutes on the other leg and he could feel her relax. She'd stopped crying and had buried her face in one of the huge pillows and he heard her muffled voice thank him._

"_No problem. You just overdid it today. I'm going to run you a hot bath and you need to soak those legs and when you feel them start to quiver, call me and I'll help you out. A quick deep massage and you'll be fine but you'll need to take it easy for a day or two. And drink a lot of water. Lactic acid buildup causes the cramps, that and muscle failure."_

_He left and filled her sunken tub with water hot enough to relax the muscles and marginally cool enough for her to stand the heat. _

_Once again he picked her towel-covered form up and carried her into the tub area, avoiding looking down. Even though she was covered in a towel, she was naked and the gentleman in Castle never took advantage of that._

"_You can get in on your own, Becks. I'll just step out and give you pri – crap!" She dropped the towel and just stepped into the tub, hissing with the heat and easing down so that just her head was above water. Pain relief won out over modesty and she tried not to look at his face._

'_Damn, she looks like some water nymph easing into a heated pool.' He saw the red marks from his fingertips in the skin of her thighs and calves. He hoped she didn't bruise easily or skirts were definitely off the wardrobe selections for a week or so._

"_I'm sorry I got you all wet. Go put on dry clothes and then we'll eat. I pushed myself too damned hard and I skipped the stretching exercises and man, am I paying for it. You got great hands, Castle. Thanks for kneading out the worst of them."_

"_Yeah. I'll change and then call out for dinner. I've got good news, Becks. You're getting your privacy back tomorrow. Aren't you excited?"_

"_Castle, I'm naked, embarrassed and sore. I'll get excited some other time, okay? I'll be down in a bit and you can tell me all about the review board and what's happening next."_

_She didn't want her privacy back. She didn't want him to leave. She felt comfortable with him here and felt that there was a growing bond between them that was more than just work-related. She wanted him to stay so she could see what developed. He'd been here almost a month and that was the first time he'd touched her._

_When he's massaged her thighs and calves she reveled in his touch especially when he'd rubbed her bare thighs to relieve the cramping. He really did have magic hands and she wanted to feel them everywhere on her body. _

_When she called him to help her out of the tub he was there in seconds holding up her terrycloth robe for her to slip into but he'd kept his eyes closed. She found it both charming and frustrating. She had a great body and she wanted him to look at her like he probably looked at Aurora. _

_She almost fell asleep at the breakfast bar where they'd taken their meals since her 'butt busting' incident. It was more casual and intimate than the dining room table and she realized how comfortable she'd gotten with Castle. _

_Kate woke up early, for her, and dressed and knocked on Rick's bedroom door. Without waiting for an answer she opened the door to an empty room. His clothes were gone. He'd even made the bed. _

_She trudged down the stairs and saw it was raining. Good. It matched her mood. Castle had even made coffee and there was a post-it note on the refrigerator – a new note._

_**We'll call you if we need you.  
><strong>__**Rest up those long legs.  
><strong>__**Thanks for letting me clutter up the place.**_

_**Rick Castle**_

_She was torn between anger and resignation. She'd told Gina he wasn't ready for anything yet and she'd meant it at the moment. Now she wondered if she'd squandered her chance to develop a relationship outside of the workplace. _

_Her legs were still aching and she went upstairs to her sunken tub and filled it and turned on the Jacuzzi. Between the jets and her fantasizing about his strong fingers massaging her in places she touched herself, she found a small degree of satisfaction._

* * *

><p>Kate shook her head to clear her mind and took the stairs down to Robbery. Tom apparently had the same idea and they met on the landing between the 2nd and 3rd floors.<p>

"Hey, Katie, I was just coming up to see you." His smile was genuine and it warmed her even though he wasn't the person she really wanted to see. _'Why do I let him do this to me? He's not interested and here's Tom, a hot man who is really interested in me?'_

"Castle's out and I have some stuff to do on the book so I'm off to the nook for some quiet work. What did you want to see me about?"

"I'm off rotation this weekend and I'd like to take you someplace different. Have you ever been camping?"

"You mean outside, in tents, cooking food over an open fire? Going to the bathroom in the weeds?"

He laughed at the horrified look on her face. He liked her playfulness and her ability to make him laugh. Sometimes she seemed almost - innocent.

"Not exactly. Tents? Yeah. Open fire? Yep. Peeing in the brush at 3am? Nope. Got a bathhouse with running water and real flush toilets within a hundred yards. I'd like to take you to the Celtic Fest in the Jersey Barrens. Would you like to go?"

She considered saying 'no' but she figured she could finish the editing today and take tomorrow off from following Castle around like a puppy and make any final changes then. Her first _Brick Rhodes_ saga was going to print on Monday. All she had to write was the dedication and how hard could that be?

"Yes! I'd love to go. What time will you pick me up?"

"Saturday morning, 5am. We want to get a good spot for camping and not too far away from the Festival."

"If you can get off Friday early, couldn't we leave then?" She dreaded getting up at 4am to get ready for _anything_.

"I like the way you think. I'll pick you up at noon at your place, okay?"

Friday  
>Homicide Squad Bay<br>9am

"Where's the shadow? Ryan? Beckett call in?"

"She left yesterday since you weren't in, Castle. She looked 'all lost and alone, poor wench, and missing you something terrible she was'."

"Cut the Irish crap, Ryan, and just tell me the facts. She's not in and that's all I needed to know. Where's the other half of the Anemic Duo?"

"Esposito's running down some records of an old case. He should be back – "

"I am back. And look what I found! Remember when we all thought it strange that Willie Saunders suddenly got rich, right? Well, IAD had Saunders under surveillance because certain 'items of evidence' against certain people went missing or the chain of evidentiary custody was broken or questionable resulting in a dismissal. Also there appeared to be small amounts of money seized in various drug busts that couldn't be accounted for."

Could Saunders have been 'losing' evidence for someone in exchange for cash or was it just bureaucratic inefficiencies?

Castle felt something tug at the back of his mind. He remembered how he and Matt Capaldi had turned in several thousand dollars in cash and a couple of keys of pure cocaine once that had been recorded and receipted as lesser amounts.

Someone was trying to clean up an old operation and it looked like they'd finally gotten a break in the case.

"Good work, Javier. Let's review the files and see what cases were tossed because of the chain of evidence rulings and what money was taken from what cases. Maybe we've found the key to what went down back then."

He looked over at Kate's chair and half-smiled. She'd be kicking her butt for missing all this exciting 'detective work'. He started to call her but put his phone down. They didn't really need her for this. He had just wanted an excuse to talk to her. He picked up the picture of Aurora and him at last year's St. Rocco's Day Block Party in her neighborhood.

God, how he missed her. It had been the first night they'd made love. He'd give anything, even his soul, to have her back. He missed her. His mind conjured up a picture of Kate Beckett lying in her bed. He was running his fingertips across incredibly soft skin, kneading out the knotted and cramping muscles. He flushed thoughts of Beckett out of his mind as being 'inappropriate'. Beckett was dating Demming and he was happy for her.

"Guys, lets write up those records requests and send them down to Central. Javier, do you still have the number of that paralegal in the DA's office? Maybe she can get us copies of the cases they'd dismissed once we get the booking info. Let's get cracking. We're another step closer to nailing the Butcher."


	13. The Shadow Dumps and Gets Dumped

The timeline advances again mid-chapter after a tragedy. Don't worry, Beckett and the Rubbering Guy are short-term. Mirror Mirror by Oldest Man

Sorry for the length but I couldn't find a break point that would still allow continuity.

* * *

><p>Part 13<br>Celtic Fest  
>The BarrensSaturday<br>7am

Kate woke up first. Memories of the previous night came rushing back with a vengeance. They'd had sex, twice, and each time – each time she'd faked it. Tom had been cautious and careful and very gentle but still, no blinding moment of shattering ecstasy for her. He had no complaints, though. She'd been very vocal and she knew she'd fooled him. A man's ego was a fragile thing as she'd learned early in her teens

She was disappointed but not surprised. She often wondered if her psychiatrist had been right. She was simply refusing to allow herself to enjoy the sex act because it made her feel guilty. That comment in itself had generated a lot of additional therapy when she finally related her experiences while in foster care.

She had more urgent things on her immediate mind than orgasms. She had to pee with a purple passion and she knew if she didn't find a bathroom soon she'd embarrass herself.

"Tom, honey, I have _got_ to pee. Let me up and I expect coffee when I get back."

He mumbled something but released her from his loose embrace. She felt comfortable in his arms but could take it or leave it. Normally after sex she'd get up, clean herself and then hint around to the other party that it was time to hit the road. Last night _she_ almost hit the road. She needed a shower, too. She felt icky.

She grabbed fresh clothing and her travel bag and headed up the road to the bathhouse. She looked at her watch and sighed. Saturday morning. She should be rolling over for another 3 or 4 hours of sleep. It was only 6:30.

* * *

><p>11am<p>

It rained. Not a nice gentle rain. No. It poured and their tent leaked and when they made it back from the rained out festival they discovered that Tom's camping skills left something to be desired. The tent had about 2 inches of rainwater in it and their clothes were soaked and they had nothing dry to change into.

Kate sneezed and looked miserable. Demming sneezed and he looked miserable.

"Kate, let's go home. This was a great idea but Mother Nature sure ruined it for us. I'll make it up to you somehow, Katie. I promise you."

He wasn't dense but he was confused. Her face got hard and she got a faraway look in her eyes and then she just nodded and grabbed her water soaked bag and headed towards Tom's SUV. He called her 'Katie' and she automatically went into her 'safe zone'.

She didn't ask him up. She wanted to get into the tub and soak up heat and then scrub herself clean. She knew she should call her therapist and have a session scheduled but at that moment all she wanted to do was to get warm and clean.

Demming drove back to his apartment running the events of the trip through his own mind, subject to his own filters.

He finally just decided that she was not the outdoorsy type so he dropped any future plans that weren't indoors or at the beach. He had dibs on a timeshare out on the island and he figured if they were still dating in June he'd take her there for a week.

The sex had been great and he loved how she 'rewarded' his performance with her moans and shivers and finally with that wild shaking of her head and her entreaties to 'do it, Tom, just do it'.

He wasn't dense. He just hadn't noticed the signs of past abuse. Her 'entreaties' weren't driven by passion but by desperation. As far as he was concerned, he was quite the accomplished lover.

* * *

><p>12th Precinct<br>4 months later

Castle spent as little time as possible with Beckett. He was annoyed that Demming kept showing up at his desk and monopolizing her time as well as pissing him off with his incessant chatter. It was difficult enough getting paperwork done when Beckett sat there making notes, asking questions and talking on her cell phone.

If he had asked Kate she would have told him that she and Demming were fast falling apart as a couple but of course he didn't. He never asked her about her personal life. He never asked her about Demming. Unless it was a requirement of the job, he rarely talked with her.

"So Rick, got plans for the summer?"

She decided she would dump Demming and ask Castle and his little girl to come up to the Hamptons house for a week. She hoped that getting the both of them away from the job and the precinct would allow her to rekindle what she thought was a growing affection when he'd stayed at her loft. She was sure his little girl would love the beach.

"Not sure right now. Things are up in the air. Meredith has a hiatus from _Temptation Lane_ and she's off to Indonesia or someplace equally exotic to shoot some made-for-TV movie. If she takes Lexie then my summer plans are shot. If not, then I have a full schedule. Why?"

"Well, I was thinking. If you and – "

"Boss, got a location on the shooter from the convenience store. Uniforms spotted him. We need to roll."

"Beckett, if you want to ride along, remember the rules." He was gone before she could respond. Realizing that she was lagging behind and needed to be one step behind him, she grabbed her vest and chased after the team.

* * *

><p>Transient hotel<br>9am

"Becks, stay in the car. I'll send someone for you when it's safe, okay?"

"How can I write what I don't experience?"

"You write about men and their thoughts and emotions during sex – and you're obviously a girl. You think about that while I'm gone."

"Damn it, Castle, it's not the same thing."

He smirked and closed the car door and waved and turned and entered the alley. Esposito and Ryan were standing on either side of a fire door and their backup, two uniformed officers, were standing behind Ryan.

"What's the layout?" Castle hated these entries into areas they weren't familiar with. It reminded too much of the house-sweeping operations in Bosnia.

"Straight shot for about 10 feet then a staircase on the right to the 2nd floor. Our suspect is in the second room on the right on the second floor. The patrolmen will have the fire escape and this door under observation. Two other uniforms have the hotel lobby secured."

"Good. Everyone suited up?" He meant vests.

"Yep. Ready to rock 'n roll, boss."

"Let's get it done. Espo, you found him, you take the lead. I'll be drag. Kevin, watch the door. Don't stand directly across from it."

Esposito opened the metal screen door and pushed open the fire door. He glanced at the uniforms and they nodded. Everyone was ready.

The three detectives entered as quietly as they could. There was no illumination in the entryway and no windows. Esposito took out a mag light and held it in his mouth and led the way up the stairs. Castle followed, keeping an eye on the team's rear. The suspect supposedly had acted alone but years of working these cases had taught Rick to always prepare for the unexpected.

They came to a landing and the stairs changed direction. A light fixture that had years of dead bugs accumulated within it illuminated the top of the stairs. There was a pool of darkness immediately under it. The bug corpses were blocking the light.

Ryan pushed past Esposito and took up a position on the other side of the hotel room door. He took a stethoscope-like device out of his coat and put it on the door and listened intently.

He held up one finger then tensed and seemed to shrink as he concentrated on the sounds – and held up another finger – indicating two people in the room.

Esposito stood beside the door and reached over and pounded on it and called out 'NYPD – we have a warrant for –" and a shotgun blast blew a hole in the cheap wooden door 12 inches in diameter at waist height. Ryan started to kick in the door but Castle shoved him aside just as another blast blew a hole in the door.

Esposito was on the phone calling for more backup. Castle had Ryan go from door to door and get the people out and downstairs to relative safety. He secured the exit and waited.

Someone touched his shoulder from behind and he spun around, eyes wide and then he blinked away his thoughts and cursed.

His voice was terse and cold as he whispered, "Beckett, I told you to stay in the damned car. You're not ready for this. Get back down – "

Beckett's attention was riveted on Castle's face. He looked angry and hard but when he first saw her, his eyes had been warm and welcoming for just a second.

" – the damned stairs before – " before the inevitable happened. His mind was shifting through countless scenarios of how the next few seconds would end and none of them were pleasant because a huge man with a shotgun crashed through the door and fired at Ryan who was at the end of the hallway. He missed but Ryan ducked into a hotel room in his panic, knocking the door open with his shoulder.

Castle pivoted on his knees and swung his 9mm up and toward the suspect knowing he was already too late. The hood held a pump-action shotgun in one massive hand but had seen far too many movies. He held onto the slide grip with one hand and tried to jack another shell into the shotgun but it jammed.

Both Esposito and Castle fired at the same time and Beckett would later write that 'the entire floor shook when the scumbag went down'.

Esposito hustled over and was cuffing the dead man when a girl of 16 or 17 stepped out of the filthy hotel room and shot him in the back with a .38 caliber pistol. His vest saved his life but it still hurt like hell and he fell forward across the dead man, writhing in pain.

The girl pointed the pistol at Beckett who had scuttled six feet back down the hallway towards the stairs.

"Don't do it! It doesn't have to be this way!" Castle shouted to the girl but she seemed intent on committing 'suicide by cop' and fired at Beckett who was cowering at the top of the stairs.

Kate would write the scene in _Deadly Rhodes_ as follows:

_As Karen huddled at the top of the stairway, the drugged-out young woman pointed the pistol at her and screamed, "You – you caused this! You killed my – ", and Karen could see the finger on the trigger whitening as pressure was applied._

"_No!" Brick seemed to collapse in upon himself and coil like a cobra preparing to strike and as the trigger was pulled and the cam in the pistol moved around its base plate, the hammer began to fall towards the seated cartridge primer exactly as designed. _

_Quicker than the eye could see, Rhodes leaped in front of the girl and his vest absorbed the kinetic energy of 120 grains of steel-jacketed lead as it struck the woven mesh vest at 1600 fps._

_He wrapped his arms around the young girl in a desperate embrace as she fired twice more before collapsing against him, totally spent and sobbing uncontrollably._

Not quite the way it happened at all.

She fired at Beckett and the bullet struck her directly in the center of her chest but her high-tech designer vest absorbed the projectile and distributed the impact across the panels of woven Kevlar and carbon fibers. The force of the impact still knocked her flat onto her back and for a moment, she lost consciousness.

Castle shot the teenager, hoping to disable her. He recognized the signs of physical and psychological abuse and had seen the despair in her eyes.

The girl seemed to smile at him in gratitude before her body obeyed the laws of physics and slammed back against the dirty wall, sliding down against it, leaving a bright red smear of blood to mark her passage. _She _hadn't been wearing a vest.

'_Shit! Beckett!' _He dismissed his victim as he remembered the shot that preceded his own.

He was on her still form in a second, ripping the Velcro tabs that held the formed vest snug against her body. He tore open her designer blouse and ran his palms over her tanned skin, up under her bra and then down her sides frantically looking for a wound.

"Ca-Castle! Trying to - cop a cheap feel? Ohhh, God, that hurts!"

He pulled her against him and held her tightly for a second, feeling her gasping for breath, the scent of her hair and enjoying the fact that she was alive and unharmed – for now.

_He was going to kill her_ when he found the time, place, method and opportunity. She didn't stay in the car. She didn't listen to his instructions. These facts rushed into his mind and he released her abruptly and went to check on the girl he'd shot to save Beckett.

"Esposito, you ok?" Javier had already checked the girl. She was dead. Ryan had fired almost simultaneously as Castle fired, each shot ripping into her body and each killing her.

"Yeah. Man, that girl, she came out of nowhere. Ryan?"

"Yeah, here. I called in the M.E. and Montgomery says we're to remain here. How's Beckett? Man, she doesn't learn, does she? Well, she's got some 'background' on Homicide now."

"Poor Demming. He's not gonna be getting' any for a while. She's going to be sore as a boil for a few days."

Castle frowned and let it go. She had to go. She was out of control and in a situation like this had been, she made it dangerous for all of them. That girl didn't have to die. Beckett needed to go and the Mayor and his wife could just kiss his –

They processed the scene and then stood around as Dr. Parish processed the bodies. Beckett had been taken down to the paramedics along with Esposito to get checked out. Esposito muttered 'I'll keep her there, Boss, so we don't have another body on our hands."

"Who's senior here?" The voice belonged to a unformed captain. Oh, joy. The IAB had arrived and the real blood-letting would now commence.

"I am. Detective Castle."

"Malloy, IAB. You'll need to surrender your service weapons for ballistics. Man, look at this place! Shot gun took out the door and then – civilian?" He was looking at the dead teenager. Someone really needed to close her eyes. Cover her.

"No, accomplice. Came out of the room and shot Esposito in the back after we'd taken down Goliath there. He was – "

"Save it for the Board. You know the drill. Looks like a righteous shoot but we still have to abide by the law. Anyone else hurt?"

"No. I think these are enough."

* * *

><p>12th Precinct<br>Homicide Squad Room  
>3pm<p>

"Do you think Castle's ever going to forgive Becks?"

"I don't know. Shooting that girl rattled him. You know she looked a lot like Alexis, 'cept for the hair color."

"My shot killed her. It wasn't his. The Board will give us a good shoot report. What do you think he and Montgomery are talking about?"

"Give you one answer – Beckett. Man, you didn't see the look on his face. He's got it bad for her and he doesn't want to accept it – it's like he's betraying Aurora or something. It's been almost a year."

"Well, our resident writer has been shoving her stuff in his face for a while but now she's with that tool from Robbery. Demming's doing her just to piss Castle off."

"I don't know. Tom's said a couple of times that she's special and that he doesn't want to screw it up with her. Y'know she's taking him up to her house in The Hamptons for the whole damned month? Demming used all his accrued vacation and is taking some 'no-pay' days. That's how serious he is."

"Castle's going to be a frikkin' bear to be around."

The elevator 'dinged' and Alexis Castle got off and walked towards the pair of detectives. She was 17 but looked like she was 25. Her mother had taken her to a hair salon and then to a 'suitable place for designer wear, Lexie' and bought her a tight pencil skirt, a translucent blouse and 3-inch heels. She didn't even feel like herself. She kind of liked what her mother termed 'the young model look'.

"Hey! Anyone seen the Great Stone Face anywhere? We're going to see the Mets tonight."

"Hey, Lexie, 'sup? Your dad's in with Captain Montgomery. Sit, talk. What's up with your Pops lately? He's really, really cranky." He was shocked at how old she looked and at how maturely she was dressed. He remembered the bratty 14-year old who'd had a crush on him.

"Yeah. It's my mom. She's going to Asia to do some stupid movie and Dad wants me to stay with him but she wants me to tag along. Says it will 'broaden my horizons'. Like sitting in a trailer in the Malaysian jungle will make me appreciate anything other than bug repellant and air conditioning!"

Castle walked out of Montgomery's office and grinned when he saw his daughter. The 17 year old had obviously been 'shopping' with her mother, The Harpy, because she was wearing enough makeup to look 22 or more. She looked beautiful, but to Castle she looked older than his mental image and he didn't like it one bit.

"Alexis!" The redhead ran to her father and leaped into his arms. It had been a year since she'd seen him and he looked wonderful but older and he had new 'worry lines' around his mouth and eyes. She'd never really gotten a close look at his face in the damning fluorescent lighting.

"Oof! You're getting fat, Lex! Bet your mom's planning on sending you to a Fat Farm. What'd you do today, little girl? I've missed you and I'm glad you could break free from the tanning beds and shopping trips with the Deep Fried Twinkie to stop by and see yer old man."

"Daddy! I'm not fat. I'm at the ideal weight for my height and body type. I've even been offered a modeling contract, so there! No Fatties on the runway, y'know?"

"Guys, I'm gone. See ya in a month. I've squared it with the Captain and you're on your own." In a more serious tone, "Beckett's history. Roy will handle it. The mess today is reason enough. I can't manage her and a crime scene at the same time. Stay clear of her. It's not going to be pretty. Demming will be pissed off but that's his problem."

"Seriously, Boss? A vacation? You? Man, Lanie's going to have a fit. We bet – on the weather this month, yeah."

"Alexis, make sure he doesn't fall victim to some sweet young thing. You know how those Mets' fans can be. Carnivorous."

It was a running joke that Castle's favorite team's fans were animals, whereas the Yankee fans were just – enthusiastic.

"You guys don't appreciate real fans. We'll see you all later. Maybe. A whole month, Dad? Are you sick? You look sick. You look old, too." Revenge for the fat remarks.

"Let's go, Alexis, before these two scar you forever with their 'Yankee Pride' routine."

Just as they were leaving, Kate Beckett got off the elevator and glared at Castle.

"You bastard! How could you do this to me? I mean, I'm your partner and this is my payback?" She was sore and angry, mostly angry.

Montgomery had called her and told her that her shadow days were over and that she needed to see him for an explanation.

"And who's this? She's a little young for you, isn't she, Castle? Of course, when a man gets to be your age, it doesn't matter, does it? Just the opportunity for one less night wallowing around in the gutter!"

Beckett looked the younger woman over with a critical eye. She was obviously upper class, maybe a call girl? Would Castle actually _pay_ for sex?

"Alexis, honey, wait for me downstairs. I'll just be a couple of minutes and then we'll grab something to eat and I'll change clothes and we'll head for the ballpark."

"Don't be long, Dad. You know how I hate lines." She shot the pretty woman who'd ranked out her dad a glare that would cut through steel and got on the elevator and pushed the button.

Beckett turned pale. _'His daughter? That's Alexis? Oh, crap, me and my big mouth! I thought she was just a kid not a glamorous young woman.'_

"Go see Montgomery, Ms. Beckett, and take care of the paperwork. I'm glad we could provide material for your novels. I'll just slide back into the gutter where I belong. I have to be going. I don't get to see her much and this is my time with her."

"Oh God, Rick, I'm so sorry. I'll go down and apologize to her and – "

"You've done quite enough damage for one day, Ms. Beckett. And I suggest you and Hizzoner's wife think 'Robbery' instead of 'Homicide' the next time you twist the Mayor's arm. You're done here."

Kate's face turned red as she realized that she'd no longer be shadowing her – whatever he was. This had made her feel so alive and vital and she needed it – and him, if she'd ever admit it.

"Damn it, Castle, you can't do that! You're being unreasonable and – "

"Unreasonable? You don't listen. Not listening cost a young girl her life this morning or have you forgotten so soon? After all, she was just a kid and one of the 'Invisible People' who make up the world around you. She didn't have to die, Beckett, but she did because you didn't follow my instructions and I had to worry about you instead of the situation. Go see Montgomery."

He stepped aside and pointed to the Captain's door and then took the stairs down to the front entrance. It was the right thing to do. The way he did it wasn't. It left him feeling empty.

The confrontation with Castle had left her feeling empty and shaken and ashamed. Unbidden, Lanie's initial description of Castle came to mind:

_Detective Castle is a courageous and driven man who is also a bullheaded, pigheaded, stubborn, inflexible, unforgiving and totally unfeeling male example of the NYPD species you'll ever come across._

Demming picked that exact moment to appear in the bullpen. He wanted to talk to Castle about what happened and thank him for saving his girlfriend's life. It was the least he could do after snatching her away from him – even if Castle was too dumb to see that she could have been his if he'd just asked.

"Hey, Katie! Where's Castle? I owe him a big 'thank you' for saving my girl! Where is he?"

"DON'T CALL ME KATIE! I've asked you not to and you still don't get it. I don't like 'Katie'. And I don't like you! Forget about taking our vacation together. We're _not_ together in any sense of the word. You were just – you - "

She turned and ran for the stairs, almost in tears. What ever possessed her to think that Demming could ever fill the void in her? She'd just thrown away the missing piece of her life when she'd insulted him in front of his daughter.


	14. Night of the Living Dead

**Dear Readers: Another lurch in the timeline. Beckett is no longer cozy with Demming but has slithered back into the role of Castle's shadow after spending a small fortune bribing the mayor to 'force' Castle to take her back. Her first Castle-based novel _Brick Rhodes, Concrete Streets_ is being released and she has conned Rick into escorting her to the launch party.**

**On a side note, she's reconciled with Alexis after dragging the teenager to a spa and explaining _her_ side of the non-relationship and enlisting her aid in further wearing down Castle's reluctance. She also discovers that Alexis is hiding an eating disorder brought on by her mother's constant harping on her weight. More on that in a later chapter after I get more background from my personal resource.**

**Kate's work on the second book seems to be adversely affected by her return to shadowing the 12th. Her publisher and chief confidant is convinced that 'heartache is productive' and plots against Kate's budding relationship with Rick.**

**Now we're all on the same page.**

**OM**

* * *

><p>Hyatt Regency Ball Room<br>Book Launch Party

The party was a stunning success. For once, while the photographers and media had surrounded her when she and Castle stepped out of the limo, they hadn't pressed in on the couple. Probably because Castle shot them the Evil Eye whenever one dared to step into his personal 'bubble'.

"See, Rick, that wasn't so bad, was it? Just be yourself but don't take crap from any reporters. The Launch Party is for the public. The after-Party is for us, the squad and my friends and associates."

"I'll be good, Kate. I'll be your trained bear and do tricks when prompted. Y'know I'm not much for the party scene. Never quite know how to act."

She squeezed his hand and put her other arm around his waist and quietly said, "Just be Rick Castle. I like him. He's real, not artificial and not one of these empty-headed self-promoters. Look, there's the Mayor and his wife. She really helped me out and smoothed the way for my shadowing you again."

"Oh, Christ, not the Mayor! Last year we butted heads at a crime scene. He thinks because he was a cop for a few years before going to law school that he could run my crime scene. He tried to have me fired!"

"Well, his wife won't allow it now. She thinks you're 'edible'."

That portion of the evening, although very uncomfortable for Castle, went smoothly. The right people came and shmoozed and kibitzed and Kate was in her element. He watched as she glided from small group to small group and plied them with her banter and her shop talk. He loved the way she could walk into any situation and be instantly comfortable.

Kate saw Rick looking at her and extracted her hand from some nebbish's paw and walked over to where he stood, on the outskirts of the Precinct crew. They'd stuck together as a group.

"Rick, you've been a wonderful date tonight. There's only one thing you haven't done that's on the list of 'good date' performances."

"What? I thought I kept things quiet. No punching. I haven't arrested anyone, not even that ass who asked me if I wanted to share a line of coke. That took some self-control. What haven't I done?"

"You haven't danced with me. C'mon. I know you can dance. Just one, please?" She wanted to know if that wonderful feeling she had when he wrapped her protectively in his arms at the take-down when the girl was killed and she'd been shot in the vest was just a heat-of-the-moment thing.

She snuggled against his chest. It wasn't heat of the moment. It had been real. She felt it again. Safe. Secure. Loved. Home.

She was surprised when he stepped back away from her and she looked up at him in disappointment and confusion.

"What's wrong, Rick?"

"Music stopped."

"Oh. Yeah. Mind was elsewhere. Sorry. Would you mind terribly getting me another drink? There are a few people at the bar I'd rather not have to make nice with."

"Sure. Don't run away. I don't want to have to come looking for you." The way he said it, and the look on his face when he did, made her tingle all over.

They were standing around talking with the others from the 12th when Kate she saw her publisher, Gina Cowan, across the room and called out to her and waved her over.

"Guys, I'd like you to meet my publisher and apparent chameleon, Gina Cowan. Gina this is Rick Cas – "

She turned and saw only his broad back as Castle bulled his way through the crowd at a fast pace. "What's up with – " The others from the 12th, Lanie and Esposito especially, looked like they'd seen a ghost and Kate was really confused now.

Esposito crossed himself and muttered, "Madre de Dios, it's her!" while Lanie just gasped and drained her drink and then sucked down Esposito's.

"Wow, Kate, you sure know how to give a girl a stunning introduction."

Gina wasn't surprised at all by the varied reactions. She'd carefully crafted it. The reaction wasn't what she expected. She expected Castle to be all over her – it's what she wanted. Castle.

When she'd researched her best author's latest project she'd come across photographs of Aurora DiGrasso. Gina Cowan felt like she was looking at photos of herself, just with much darker hair.

She disapproved of the budding relationship that was keeping her author from producing. Castle was at the heart of the matter, so she would either eliminate him by driving him away (this party was step 1) or by seducing him and having a merry ride while doing so (her tearful apology would be step 2).

Either way, Beckett would be back at her laptop instead of being all googoo-eyed with new love – even if it was one-sided.

Lanie was the first to find her ability to speak. "Damn, girl, you look just like – Aurora DiGrasso. The hair, the eyes, the body, even the jewelry. Kate, that's what happened to Castle. He saw – he saw _her."_

Ryan turned to his date and asked her to excuse him. He had to find his boss and make sure he was all right. As the 'New Guy' replacing DiGrasso, he'd never really met her except at the birthday party and so he wasn't quite as upset or shocked. Surprised, yes, but then everyone was supposed to have a duplicate somewhere on earth.

* * *

><p>Castle threw up the last thing he'd eaten and left the stall and splashed cold water on his face. He scooped handfuls of water up and rinsed his mouth. He was ashamed of his reaction. Shocked by it. He <em>knew<em> the woman couldn't possibly be Aurora. She was dead. He saw her die but –

"Boss, you okay? Want me and Jenny to give you a lift home? We don't belong here, Rick, and she's really uncomfortable among all these rich bitches with their air kisses and perfect hair. C'mon, Boss, let's blow this place and maybe go by the Cop Shop and unwind."

"Aurora's dead, Kevin, and yet that woman – she's Aurora or her damned twin sister. I can't go back out there. I've made a real fool of myself and Beckett's probably embarrassed as hell – and probably pissed because this has ruined her launch party and cost her a small fortune."

"I'll get Jenn and meet you in the lobby. Won't be five minutes. I can't believe Beckett did this to you. That is one cold and cruel bitch, Castle. Stone cold. Probably figures it's good for a few more book sales."

Kevin left to get his date and Castle slipped out of the men's room and took the elevator to the lobby. He'd wait for Kevin and Jennifer but had no desire to go to any bar. He wanted to go home.

* * *

><p>Gina had never seen Kate so furious before. It was a sight she'd never forget. Beckett had turned on her publisher and confidant and proceeded to tear her verbally limb from limb not caring a whit that the press and photographers were capturing every word, every gesture, every threat, for posterity and the morning news.<p>

After flaying the hide from her publisher (and soon to be ex-publisher when she got someone with a little clout at Black Pawn on the phone) she looked around and asked "Has any one seen Rick Castle?"

"I think Ryan and Jenny took him home, Ms. Beckett. We're all leaving just as soon as we gracefully make an exit through this cesspool of people you call 'friends and associates'. We've had an interesting evening but I think it's time we left. I hope your efforts here have made your book launch a success."

The look he gave filled in a lot of blanks between what he said and what he meant.

Montgomery, and probably all the others, thought she'd orchestrated the meeting between Castle and a dark-haired Gina for publicity purposes. She hadn't known of Gina's plans and would definitely have stopped her if she had.

She had to find Castle and apologize and explain this to him. She had to let him know this was not her idea.

Kate found Paula and explained the situation. She wanted the after-party party cancelled. No reason was given. It was her damned money and she'd spend it or not spend it as she pleased.

Paula finally pried the reason out of her and she went looking for that 'Medusa-woman'. She wholeheartedly agreed with Kate that Gina was a manipulating bitch-in-heat and definitely had to go and the sooner the better. Paula made plans to bring Kate's entertainment lawyer into the fray. She'd withhold the big guns until they were really needed.

* * *

><p>Castle's apartment<br>11:45pm

Rick and Kevin and Jenny had stopped at an all-night diner and grabbed something to eat. Rick had just pushed his food around while Kevin and Jenny tried to make sense of the evening.

"Castle, I can't believe Beckett would do such a cold thing. Man, that bitch is – "

"Kevin, honey, you watch your language. I don't think Kate knew anything at about what that – that woman did. She was just as surprised as any of us except her surprise wasn't 'angry surprise'."

Jenny had seen the look of confusion of Beckett's face and as a woman, knew immediately that she had been as unprepared for Aurora DiGrasso's resurrection as any of them were.

"Doesn't matter. What's done is done. I was just shocked and I didn't handle it well at all. I probably ruined her party. Don't expect to see Beckett around the precinct, Ryan. I think the shadow is gone for good this time."

A half hour later they said their goodbyes and Castle walked up the stairs to the brownstone he owned. He rented out the other apartments and made the mortgage payment with enough left over to satisfy the real estate taxes and maintain the building.

Castle unlocked he door to his apartment and instantly went on alert. The door was locked but the deadbolt had been released. Either some one had been here or was still here. The door hadn't been forced so it looked to be a professional job.

Beckett jumped from the cab, threw money at the driver and ran up the stairs into the brownstone. She'd gotten the address from Lanie who seemed to be the only one who wasn't pissed at her.

Castle pulled up his pants leg and removed the Beretta 9mm Star Minx from his backup holster and cautiously entered his apartment. The plasma TV and his laptop were still there and that brought the alert level to a new high. It wasn't a robbery so it could only mean that someone was waiting for him.

In the shower? He heard the shower running at the same time Beckett made her appearance. He whirled on her and she let out her characteristic 'EEEK' and turned pale. She'd followed him from place to place in a cab. She needed to make sure he understood that she had nothing to do with Gina's performance.

Rick held a finger to his lips and pulled her along behind him, masking her body with his own. The shower was running and Castle used the sound to mask their quick recon of the other rooms in the apartment before homing in on the bathroom.

"Kate, stay behind me, please?" He whispered the words into her ear and the light fluttering of his lips against it made her heart pound. She couldn't believe she was getting aroused when she might be shot in the next few moments.

He held up a hand and eased his way forward until he could grip the shower curtain and jerk it back.

Beckett's 'EEEK' was unheard over the scream of the woman taking a shower and the bellowing of a pissed-off Castle.

"_**Meredith**_? What the _hell_ are you doing here? How'd you get in?" He'd forgotten Beckett cowering behind him but now she stepped out beside him and glowered at him.

"So this is why you left the party? You have a girl stashed here? Jesus, Castle! I – "

"No! I mean, shit, I don't have a girl stashed here and you know damned good and well why I left the damned party. You set me up good. You knew how I felt about her and you had your 'publisher' dye her hair and wear her – "

Meredith felt that it was necessary for her to become a part of this 'lovers' spat'.

"Ricky, the airlines are on strike and I got caught at the airport on my way to London so I just came here to spend the night. I _do_ have a key, y'know? So who's your little friend? Is this the 'Aurora' I've heard so much about? Hi, I'm Meredith Richards, Ricky's wife."

She extended a sudsy hand in Beckett's direction. Her breasts were full and her nipples pink and erect from the chill in the room. She was standing there as if being naked in front of her ex-husband and his writer girl was perfectly natural and acceptable. Except for the nasty attitude, Kate didn't think there was a single imperfection in Meredith Richards. She apparently thought so, too, since she even depilated her pubic hair revealing a cute little butterfly tattoo on one – ewww.

"Ex-wife, Meredith. EX-wife. Emphasis on Ex, as in 'former', 'mistake corrected', 'adulteress', um – "

"Mother of the daughter you never seem to have the time for – don't forget that one, Richard Castle!"

"Look, you two obviously have an awful lot of issues to resolve so I'll just let myself out. Castle, I'm genuinely sorry for what my publisher did and I'm firing the whole firm tomorrow morning. I'll send you a copy of the book. It was a real life-changing experience, shadowing you these past months and I'll never forget you."

"Becks, damn it, wait! Meredith, finish your shower. I'll take the couch. Jesus, what a night."

* * *

><p>He intercepted Kate at the door. He grabbed her upper arm firmly and turned her around. The tears were streaming down her cheeks leaving tracks of eye makeup.<p>

"Kate, I'm sorry for yelling, okay? And for bolting out of the party like that. I just wasn't ready for what your friend did. It was like – it hurt, okay? It really hurt. I thought you were mocking me and – "

She took his face in both her hands and kissed him to shut him up. She hated feeling the way she did and having to listen to him apologize for absolutely nothing warmed her heart and so she kissed him.

He didn't respond at first but soon warmed to her and she felt a smile flee across his lips before he nipped her bottom lip and then deepened the kiss. She melted against him and all her instincts shouted to her to run but she couldn't have stopped kissing him if her life depended upon it.

"Well, maybe _**I**_ should be the one to take the couch, Ricky. You and the writer will probably want to take this into the bedroom, right? Unless you two want to do it right here on the floor so I can watch." She had wrapped her hair in a towel but not her body. Kate had the feeling that if she left Castle alone, he wouldn't be for long. The woman was positively predatory.

Kate stepped back far enough to focus on his face. She'd never seen the look of tender amazement on it before. It made her happy that she put it there.

"I'd better go. I'll see you Monday morning, Rick, after I fire Black Pawn. I would never hurt you, Rick, never."

She kissed him again, lightly, and then walked unsteadily out the door.

"Hey, Becks, wait a minute. You'll never get a cab in this neighborhood at this time of night. Let me drive you."

"No. You go and try to keep the slut from _Temptation Lane _from stealing you blind. Talk about '_type casting'_. I'll see you Monday morning unless you'd like to - "

"Like to what?" He didn't want her to leave and he sure as hell didn't want to stay with the ex-wife slut. She always thought being back in the same room was the equivalent of a conjugal visit. He was really past that point in life.

"I'd like to take the boat out and you know how to sail so we could get an early start if you used the spare bedroom at my place. And I've missed your horribly fattening breakfasts, Castle. How about it?"

She was being uncharacteristically forward but she wanted to evaluate her responses to his kisses. She was still warm from them and wanted more.

"Let me grab some stuff and warn the ex that I'll kill her if she steals anything." She hadn't seen the smile he gave her in a long time and it made her feel so damned good.


	15. Confronting Confessions

It's been a while but I've been busy getting well again. In remission for 2nd time and I kicked the ass of some weird strain of pneaumonia too. Do NOT let the ghouls 'suction your lungs'. It's the worst experience in the world, trust me.

Been a while but I guess you'r stuck with my unusual brand of literature for a bit longer. All you Katers out there will absolutely HATE the new me.

OM

* * *

><p>Mirror Image<br>Chapter 15

It was well past midnight and with the light traffic, the drive to Kate's building didn't take long. Neither said anything during the drive. Castle was trying to handle the surprisingly small feelings of guilt over kissing Beckett and the feelings it had prompted.

Beckett leaned back against the leather upholstery and just enjoyed the feelings that were still warming her. When he'd put his arms around her it had evoked the same strong feelings she'd felt when she'd been shot. Comfort, safety, rightness. Of all the men she'd been with, he'd been the only one to ever make her feel that way.

Demming's kisses had been initially arousing but lost their 'zing' after a while and she'd avoided deep kisses as much as possible. His tongue had felt too much like a –

"Damn, there's no place to park." Castle had driven around the block but there were no free spots. Kate dug into her purse and pulled out her keycard and said, "Use the underground parking garage. Turn right here and you'll see the entrance on the left, Rick."

He used the keycard and swiped the sensor and the grated door slowly rose and he drove in and she directed him to one of 'her' spots and then they walked to the elevator and she took the keycard and swiped it and entered a 6-digit code to summon the elevator.

"It's 4-3-2-3-3-1 in case you ever need it. After 9pm the building goes onto max security – but then you know that from when – "

"I didn't know about the parking garage or the elevator codes. Good thing I didn't need to know." It was just a statement of fact, not a criticism.

"I didn't think about it. Sorry." The elevator car arrived and they stepped in but instead of standing side by side, she pushed him gently into the corner below the security camera and kissed him again, long and hard, wrapping her arms underneath the tuxedo jacket and running her hands up his back.

"I've wanted to do that again since your apartment. Yes, Castle, I know it might be too soon and the whole thing with Demming has probably left a bitter taste in your mouth but – "

"I only taste you, Kate." His kiss was gentle at first, as if he were uncertain so she offered encouragement by slipping her tongue across his lips and the inside when he deepened the kiss. His tongue caressed hers and she moaned slightly as feelings, long-suppressed, began stirring.

He broke the kiss and held her to him, enjoying the feeling of her against him. He nuzzled the top of her head and breathed in the scent of her hair – cherries – and smiled.

* * *

><p>The elevator door opened and she took his hand and almost dragged him to her loft door, fumbling with the keys and finally getting the lock and deadbolt open.<p>

"Kate, don't be so nervous. We can go as slowly as you want or need us to go. I'm just as nervous about this as you are. I don't want to blow it like Demming did, so we'll go slow."

"I – I'm afraid, Rick. Sex for me is not what it is for you. I – I guess I have issues. When I was younger, in foster care – "

"Shhh. It's okay. Like I said, we'll go at your pace and we'll try and get it right for you this time. I'm in no hurry, Kate. None at all."

She could feel the truth in his statement but she could also feel the signs of his arousal and she was pleased that _she_ made him hard with just kisses.

"Please, Rick, let me talk but not here. I want to tell you something I've never told anyone except my therapist but only if you're holding me just like this. I need to do this. I've never told any man but I want to tell you. Please?"

He knew what she was going to tell him. At least he knew the outline. He'd heard enough from battered wives who had finally had enough and killed their tormentor. If he had been the one making the laws, the battered would never see a day in jail, would never be charged, would never even be questioned. The cases where the kids were also abuse victims had left stains on his soul just as he suspected they'd been on so many other cops.

"Couch?"

"Bed. My bed. I feel safe there, okay? I'm not a tease, Rick, honest. I'll make you feel good, baby, if you just listen to me."

"You don't need to do anything for me, Becks. I'll listen and I won't judge. I'll probably be able to finish your story for you although I hope to hell yours has a happy ending."

"It doesn't yet, Rick, but it might. Just – be patient, okay? You have no idea how hard this will be for me. It took almost three years to get it all out in therapy but I didn't feel as safe then as you make me feel now."

"Do you want something to drink first? Maybe take a bath or something? Whatever makes you comfortable."

She leaned against him and sighed. "You make me comfortable, Castle. I don't need alcohol as a crutch. Ever since you held me so tightly when I got shot, I've wanted you to hold me like that again but without the trauma surrounding it. I'm so sorry for what happened that day and I dream about it, about her and – "

"C'mon. If it took three years of therapy then we've got a long night ahead of us."

She resisted his attempts to pull her up from the couch. "Maybe we should hold off. I mean, I want to take the boat out tomorrow and – "

"The boat will still be there whenever we get there. It's not going anywhere but you, my little writer girl, are going upstairs with me, now!" He reached down and threw her over his shoulder in a fireman's carry and she made her objections known loudly but he just took the steps two at a time and stopped outside her room, surprised by its Spartan opulence.

"You sleep here? My God, Kate, you could play basketball in here!" He walked over and gently deposited her on the bed and then began slowly undressing her, taking time to make sure she knew it was all in her control.

He tried to unzip her dress and she shivered. "Too fast?" He didn't want to rush her. He didn't want to spoil her mood but he couldn't find the damned zipper.

It was basically a backless affair with a side zipper that was cleverly concealed and she whispered "wait, Rick, let me do this part" and unzipped it but then allowed him to pull it from her upper body. She stood and it fell off her, pooling around her ankles leaving her in a demi-bra and translucent panties, both in the same color as the dress.

"My God but you're beautiful, Kate." She blushed deeply but was pleased and allowed herself just the slightest smile. She took off his tuxedo jacket and cummerbund and then untied his tie and removed each of the pearl buttons from his shirt, leaving the cufflinks for last.

She spread the front of his shirt open and pressed kisses against his chest and ran her fingers up through the sparse hair and over his nipples, scraping them lightly with her painted nails and smiling coyly at his gasp. Kate pulled the shirt out from his pants and then undid the cufflinks she'd given him for the party and slipped them into his pants pocket.

"Keep the cufflinks, Rick. You'll need them again when we do the movie premier. I'll want you by my side again, of course, always. You always make me feel safe and I wasn't even nervous when I gave my little welcoming speech tonight because I only saw you."

She pushed his shirt off and then undid his pants and pushed them down around his ankles revealing black silk boxers. She grinned when she saw them. She loved the feel of silk against her skin. Kate looked up and saw Rick's face and wondered just what he was thinking.

"Kate, this isn't talking. At least not in English and I thought you needed to – "

She slid up his body for another kiss but he turned his head away.

"Beckett, if this thing between us isn't what I think it is, then this isn't going to happen, understand?"

His eyes locked onto hers and she felt uncertain of herself and looked around frantically for a robe, feeling the pressure in her sinuses and behind her eyes of impending tears and she'd vowed never to cry in front of him again.

Rick placed his warm hands on her shoulders and felt her trembling. He brought her close and whispered "I'm not going to press you for anything, Kate, certainly nothing physical. If I just wanted sex, I'd have stayed back at my apartment with Meredith but it's not what I want with you. I mean I _do, _just not _only_ that."

"Okay, let's talk. If I don't do it now, I don't know when I'll have the courage to do it and if I don't do it, you and I won't – "

He stopped her with a brief kiss and nodded towards the bed. "Talk. Lying down. Me around you. Just as you wanted. But I think we both need to lose the shoes."

His light-hearted comment broke the ice and she was no longer as nervous. If she could do it with anyone, it would be him; she just knew it.

Finally in a state of calm comfort, she nestled against his chest and he leaning comfortably back against a mountain of soft pillows and feeling her breath against his chest, she sighed and started talking softly. He allowed his right arm to drape itself across her upper arm and she snuggled closer. When he started making small circles on her skin she practically purred in contentment.

"I went into foster care when my folks died. The system didn't care that I was a 'trust fund' baby, all it cared about was a body count and so I spent four long and horrid years in the system. I bounced from one home to the other until I thought I'd found 'home'. I mean a place I could think of as 'home'."

He murmured "Go on, Kate, I'm listening" and she dove into her own self-styled Dark Ages.

"I was fourteen. I was tall for my age and I'd begun to mature and he came to my room one night and – and said I'd be in 'girls prison' if I said a word. Af-after he was done he told me I was a good girl and that if I told anyone he'd deny it and they'd come for me."

"At first it was just oral sex, but soon it escalated to intercourse and worse. I – "

"It's okay, Kate. I'm listening. Is he still alive?"

"No. Died years ago. Bone cancer. Painful death. I prayed that he'd live a long time with it but he died when I was 23, I think. I snuck out to the cemetery one night and pissed on his grave. Felt – felt good."

She heard Castle's chuckle deep in his throat, like approval, and she smiled.

She went into more graphic detail and more than once he told her it was okay to stop but she plowed on, determined to tell everything to the one man she'd finally allowed herself to love. She admitted that to him, too, and when he didn't respond, she was terrified she'd pushed too far, too soon.

"Rick, I'm sorry." A little girl voice, one he could imagine gave voice to protests and fears in the dark of night when she was being assaulted by her rapist.

"You were just a kid, Kate, a helpless victim. You have nothing at all to be sorry for."

He felt rather than heard her sobs rack her body and he just held her, whispering comforting sounds into her hair and at last she fell asleep, exhausted both mentally and physically.

* * *

><p>She woke from a horrible dream of rape and worse. She had fought back for once and she felt such a sense of triumph, even if it had been just a dream. She reached for Castle but his side was empty but still warm. She heard sounds from the bathroom, smiled and fell back into a dreamless sleep.<p>

Sleep gave up its hold on her and she lay there gathering her thoughts. 'His' side of the bed was empty and the sheets cool but then he'd always been an early riser. Kate pulled herself together, found a robe and padded into the bathroom, washed her face and found a brush for her rat's nest of a hairdo and walked barefoot down and into the kitchen.

His back was to her and she stopped to appreciate the broad shoulders and how his silk boxers hugged his ass and her mind quickly conjured up a scene where Brick and Karen are having a very similar moment.

She gasped when he turned around. He had toilet tissue jammed up both nostrils and the beginnings of a shiner under his left eye.

"I did that? Last night?"

"In your sleep, Kate, in your sleep. I'm glad you didn't use any of your martial arts on me. Now, it's not as bad as it looks." He wrapped one arm around her shoulders, struck again with how small she seemed here as opposed to the larger-than-life woman at the launch party.

"I fought back, Rick, for the first time, I fought back. That's never happened before. You gave me the strength to fight back. Last night was so – "

"The dreams will fade now, I hope. You know that _now_ you control events, that you're the one in charge. I'm happy for you. All I did was listen, Kate. You just needed someone who lov – shit!"

"Finish your sentence, Castle. I know you heard what I said last night so finish your sentence."

"I started to say that you just needed someone who loved you, cared for you, to be there for you, that's all. Nothing strange about that."

She knew she'd caught him emotionally flat-footed and so she fell back into the bantering 'early Rick & Kate' style from when he lived with her earlier.

"So, I tell you I love you and you mumble in my hair and I cry myself to sleep in your arms? That scene begs to be written more fully, Rick." '_Or at least talked about?'_

"After breakfast. I really had to scrounge to find much to cook for you, scrawny wench. Don't you ever cook anymore, Kate?"

"Don't avoid the issue, Castle. You love me. You said so. Or are you having second thoughts now about hooking up with damaged goods?" Her voice rose and took on an argumentative tone.

"_Damn_ you, woman. You are _not_ damaged goods. You're perfect, Kate, perfect. You just set your sights too damned low, that's all. You need to get out of the gutter and back with your own kind. Someone like me with someone like you? Maybe in one of your novels but not in real life."

"You're not – argggh – you're so damned stubborn. I know you have feelings for me and I've already told you how I feel about you. You're not gutter trash, Castle. You're the best man I've ever met."

"Then you need to get out more, Beckett." He needed to leave. The situation was spiraling out of his control. He didn't want to have this conversation with her. He'd been a fool to think – "

She hurled his own words back at him.

"What about 'Beckett, if this thing between us isn't what I think it is, then this isn't going to happen, understand?' Who said that? That doesn't sound like something a man from the gutter would say, does it? You wanted more than a quick fuck and you made things clear in that one short sentence."

"I – I'm looking for more than a 'hookup', Beckett. What I want with you is so much more than casual and that's why it can't happen. Look around. We're from two different worlds. I'd be an embarrassment to you around your friends. Your fame and money – I just don't fit and I was a fool to let myself – "

"What? Fall in love with me? Let your damned heart feel something for the first time in how long? I'm not Aurora and I'm not trying to take her place. Rick, you have such a big heart, can't you find one tiny corner of it for me?"

The look on her face and those last few words destroyed his resolve. She wasn't Aurora and he knew instinctively that she was more to him than Aurora could ever have been.

"Eat your breakfast, scrawny wench. I can't run around with a bone bag rattling along at my side, can I?"

* * *

><p>I had some assistance on the s-e-x-y part. Not my cuppa.<p> 


	16. Just a Girl and a Boy

Mirror Image

Chapter 16

Last time around:

"_Rick, you have such a big heart, can't you find one tiny corner of it for me?"_

* * *

><p>They decided to pass on going out to her boat and instead she badgered him into spending the weekend at her place in the Hamptons. Just the name made him feel uncomfortable, like a mongrel dog at a Kennel Club event.<p>

She insisted that he drive so his plan was to catch a cab back to his place and pack some stuff for the weekend and then drive over and pick her up.

He was wrong. She wanted him to drive _her _car, an Audi R-8. He had never fallen in love with a car before but the beast she drove looked like a hungry animal but he told her he didn't feel comfortable driving a car that cost more than he made in 2 years, even with overtime.

"That's bull, Castle. If you're afraid of it, say so and I'll drive and promise not to kid you about it. I can understand your reluctance since it's got the big 502 engine and maybe the shifting is a little intimidating…"

"Give me the damned keys, woman. I'm not afraid of anything on four wheels when I'm driving. It's the other idiots that scare me." A 6-speed manual transmission and an engine bigger than he'd ever seen before did intimidate him but he was a guy and to admit it to a woman was – unthinkable. He had his pride to consider.

* * *

><p>Long Island Expressway<p>

The car practically drove itself and the fluidity of the transmission amazed him. He hadn't missed a shift and he was feeling pretty cocky. He glanced over at Kate and was surprised to see her asleep with a slight smile on her face. His glances alternated between the light traffic and the woman beside him.

His phone vibrated and so he slowed down and pulled off at the next exit and then stopped at a gasoline station to take the call.

"Castle."

"Ryan. Boss, I've located your Evidence Locker guy's son. He's living in a half-way house and he's an outpatient at Bellvue. Get this – he disappeared from the half-way house for a month and then suddenly reappeared – right after the last body dropped."

"Pick him up. See what you can find out on him – maybe there's an outstanding warrant we can use to keep him in the can for a while. I'll be in on Monday but don't hesitate to call if you have something."

"Your ex-wife came by this morning looking for you. I can't believe you were married to _her!_ Must have been hard leaving that behind."

"I didn't leave her. She left me and kept Alexis as punishment for my lack of ambition. Now, unless you want me to call your girlfriend, get your mind off her boobs and back onto the job. You're better off with Jenny and you know it."

"Mind on the job, boss. Yes sir!"

"Good work on finding the son. Now let's see what he knows. Run a full background check on him. Maybe he was a butcher or something."

"That would be – interesting, Castle. I'm on it. Listen about the other night – "

"Not a discussion item, Kevin." He hung up. Kate had awakened and had been eavesdropping although it was a small passenger cabin and it wasn't like she had a choice in the matter.

"You always give him 'atta-boys'. Why? I know it's good for morale but you always seem to find something to praise."

"Praise in public, punish in private. He's a good kid and will go far if he stays above the political games. He's smart and loyal and he's going to be my boss someday."

"Rick, don't you have any aspirations or ambition to be the 'Top Cop' some day?" She had heard about his 'lack of ambition' and the bitterness when he talked about his ex-wife.

"Pushing me for promotion already? I like where I am. If I pass the Lieutenant's Exam I'll be off the street and behind a desk most likely. Not my thing, Kate. I'd go nuts and shoot someone for stealing my paperclips. I'm a street cop. It's what I do and where I belong."

"Not pushing, just curious. I can see your argument but someday you'll have a family and they will want to see the Old Man come home every night and not worry about seeing him on the news."

"Maybe someday, Kate, when the right woman comes along but right now I have to catch this maniac before he kills again. We've got a suspect so plan on coming in Monday morning. You can sit in on the interrogation and give me your thoughts."

Part of her was saddened about his 'right woman comes along' comment. As far as she was concerned, the right woman was sitting beside him in a car. Another part recognized the truth in his words. He _was_ a street cop.

"Really? I can sit in? Cool!" It was a first for them. He'd always made her stand in the observation room.

"Just don't ask questions and observe. This guy's escalator doesn't reach all the floors. You can observe from the back row, Kate. He might be dangerous."

"Hey, I can be quiet when I have to be!"

Rick didn't respond, just started the car and pulled out into traffic and then onto the expressway. He was mentally counting the seconds until she –

"Why is it unsafe for me to be in there? You have to check your gun before entering the interrogation room so you're unarmed, too, right?"

"Fifty-one seconds, Becks. Not a new record, but close."

"You're begging the question, Rick."

"Because I'm a cop and you're not." He knew she hated that answer which is why he gave it.

"That's a cop out, y'know? You always give me that answer when you don't have a really good answer that will stand up to scrutiny."

"Cop out? Cool. A play on words."

Kate whacked him in the arm since that was the only answer she was going to get and she knew it. Feeling bad, she leaned over and rubbed where she'd hit him and kissed his cheek lightly and muttered, "Sorry, Rick. You bring out the bad girl in me." She laughed as his cheeks colored and his concentration on the road intensified.

"Well, it's true, Rick. I feel safe with you. I feel like I can just let go and know that you'll be there to catch me if I fall. And do you know why I feel safe and free to just be myself?"

"No, but I bet you're going to tell me, aren't you, Kate?"

"It's because I love you and you love me. It's that simple, Richard Castle, and you're trying to make it so damned complicated."

"Look, boy meets girl. Boy gets hurt and girl saves his butt. Girl makes dumb series of mistakes but boy forgives girl. Girl takes boy to bed. Disaster. He's no boy but a man and won't do anything because the girl has 'issues'. Girl realized she loves Man but he still won't make a move, so girl – "

There was a long pause and when Rick glanced over at Kate, she was intently studying the road with glistening jade green eyes.

"So the girl does what?" He wanted to know what came next, what to expect. He kept looking between her and the road. When she finally answered, she spoke slowly and hesitantly.

"I don't know, Rick. The girl never let herself get this far before. She's in unknown territory now and doesn't know what to do next." Kate looked over at Rick and the fine sheen of reflective moisture in her eyes threatens to overflow.

"She's afraid she'll do the wrong thing and screw up the best thing she's ever had. If she waits, she might lose him to time. If she rushes, she might lose him because she can't…"

Their exit was coming up in a mile but Castle didn't want to disrupt her monologue so he drove past it. Kate was so intent on saying the right things that she didn't even notice that they'd blown past the exit.

She sat back, unable to say what she had to say. Instead she said, "You missed our exit, Rick. Take the next one and drive straight across the highway and down to a beach lane and turn right." She found her nails were suddenly interesting.

"Kate, look at me. There's no hurry. I'm patient and in no hurry. Good things come to he who waits. I think you're worth the wait. Just keep one thing in mind though…"

She looked over at him, the small smile suddenly gone and replaced with lips pressed together in dread.

"I'm a lot older than you and as you so gleefully pointed out, I'm no spring chicken. I might have lost my ability to…"

She rested her hand on his thigh and drew circles in the muscle with a fingertip. She could feel the effect she was having on him. His leg trembled as she moved her hand higher on this thigh.

"Then I'll just have to figure out how to raise the dead, won't I?"


	17. Beckett & Her Bunker

Sorry for the screw up; thanks to the shape-eye BaterIforgothernamenow.

* * *

><p>Mirror Image<br>Chapter 17

Last time: _"__Then __I__'__ll __just __have __to __figure __out __how __to __raise __the __dead,__won__'__t __I?__"_

Beckett's Southampton House

The wrought iron gate was closed and Kate told Rick to pull up to the metal stand where he'd see a keypad and to push in 2-3-6-7-3 and the gates would open.

He drove through the gates and slightly uphill and watched in the rearview mirror as the gates automatically closed behind him. The land immediately around the lane was heavily overgrown and the trees seemed to grow right next to one another giving the scene an eerie occluded quality.

The road turned sharply to the right and then left again just as the Audi emerged from the tree line. The house was not at all what he expected. It wasn't one of those sprawling affairs with multiple floors and turrets and wrap-around porches. It was a very small one-story clapboard house with a small porch that led to a single door. It was smaller than small – it was tiny.

"Not what you expected, is it, Rick? Be honest. You expected something obscenely opulent and decadent like you see in the movies, right? Well, that's why I have this thick border of trees and undergrowth. I value my privacy and I don't like people gawking."

"I guess I expected something ostentatious like your loft. Something that said, 'I've arrived and I can afford this'. Not judging, Kate, I'm just answering your question honestly."

"That's what I've come to expect from you, Castle, honesty. Now, park over there and let me show you around Beckett's Bunker."

"Bunker?"

"Yep. Rick – you didn't really think that was my house did you? Pull over here and we'll walk the rest of the way. We'll come back for the bags after we garage the car."

He liked this 'Kate'. She was relaxed and playful. Kate grabbed his hand and pulled him along an overgrown flagstone path to the 'house'. She stepped up onto the small cement porch and pulled him up after her and then turned and kissed him lightly on the cheek and grinned.

"You're the first guy I've ever brought here. I rent a place up the beach for parties and launches but I've never brought anyone here, not even Gina. This is my getaway and I've never wanted to share it with anyone until now."

She unlocked the heavy door and reached in and hit a light switch that lit the room with a soft yellow light. She pulled on his hand to get him to follow her in. It was one big room with a wide staircase disappearing into the floor.

"Um, Kate, there's no – "

"If you could see the look on your face, Rick. Now, come on, follow me down to my lair, Detective Castle."

She wrapped an arm around his waist and led him down several steps to a landing and stopped. "Rick, this is the main panel for lights. There's a duplicate in the master bedroom and individual switches throughout." She flipped two switches and the stairway was illuminated in a soft white light from panels in the ceiling.

"Now, old man, welcome to my home." There must have been a timer on the lighting system because the same soft light that illuminated the stairway began to glow through out the -

"My God, Beckett – it's amazing!" He glanced at her and saw a smile he always wanted to see on her face. She was absolutely delighted with his reaction.

Shutters began withdrawing into the ceiling and soon the entire room was bathed in sunlight that streamed through floot-to-ceiling windows. He could see the Atlantic beyond a comfortable-looking deck.

"This is the living room, Rick. It's got a bar and an entertainment center over there and a fireplace that vents up to the 'house' and out its chimney. You can't really see the house from the beach and – well, the shutters are painted to blend in with the landscape." She loved the look on his face. Absolute delight. She wanted to see it on his face every morning for the rest of her life.

The rest of the 'bunker' consisted of two bedrooms with en suite baths on either side of the living room, a kitchen and informal eating area and an office she used to write when she stayed over for any length of time (like when she was getting over her latest heartbreak).

"Say something, Rick." Kate saw him take it all in, imagine the cost and compare it to his brownstone in the city. She saw the tightening of his eyes and she knew that she had to do something.

"I come here for solitude and to recapture Kate Beckett when life tears a hole in me. I spent a year here once, alone, trying to straighten out my life. I ended up writing two novels and a bunch of short stories and winning two prizes and a spot on the bestseller list but I didn't find me."

Kate looked up at Rick and whispered softly, "I didn't find 'me' again until last night, in your arms. I don't want to lose me again, Rick, so you're going to have to hang on, okay? Don't let me go."

"I won't, Beckett, but you have to help yourself out and hold on to me, too. I won't let go if you don't." It was the closest either of them had come to making a commitment. It was like saying "I'm in it as long as I know you're in it."

"I won't, Rick, I promise. Let's go garage the car and bring down our bags and unpack. I'd like a walk on the beach and just. Any objections? I want to hear all about Rick Castle – the _real_ Rick Castle that no one sees. I promise not to write about him, Rick. I just want to know him."


	18. Uptown Girl & the Street Sweeper

Mirror Image  
>Chapter 18<p>

Last time: "_I want to hear all about Rick Castle – the real Rick Castle that no one sees. I promise not to write about him, Rick. I just want to know him."_

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><p>Beckett's Bunker<br>The beach

Kate was a good interviewer but Castle was an excellent interrogator and that was a major difference. At the end of their two-hour walk on the beach each knew something 'secret' about the other. Castle had learned a lot more about Kate than she'd gleaned from him but only because she talked a lot more and gave answers in more detail – just like she wrote.

"So, Margot's coming to stay in the city with you? For how long?"

"Don't worry, Rick. I'll still have time for you." She looked up at him and smiled especially when he pulled their entwined fingers up to his lips and kissed hers.

"Not worried. I'll date around. You know, see what other fish are – oof!" She had sharp elbows.

"I said I'll have time for you, you big lummox. Don't tease me, Rick. And stay away from Margot. She's like – she's – she's always on the make and she always wanted what was mine whether it was a house or a guy. I really don't want her around, Rick. I don't trust her."

"Lock up the silverware and get her hooked up with someone from the Precinct. Cops are always horny and if she's half the woman you are, Becks, someone will keep her busy."

"And are you horny, Detective Castle?" She looked up at him and he lost himself in her green eyes. He saw passion and desire reflecting his own but he also saw fear and worded his answer very carefully. Actually there were no words in his answer.

He stopped and took her in his arms and kissed her softly and allowed her to set the tone and pace. He heard her take a deep breath, and her mouth opened slightly and then her tongue darted between his lips. His lips seemed to grow warm and when she heard him growl deep in his throat, she smiled into their kiss.

"I'll take that as a 'yes' and we'll see what we can do to rectify the situation but first, I'm going to cook you dinner, Richard Castle, and welcome you properly into my home."

"Kate, you don't have to go to a lot of trouble for me. In fact, if I remember your cooking skills – "

"I can cook but it was so much nicer letting you do the cooking. I liked coming home to a warm meal and a warmer man even if he was too thick to take advantage of me. I wanted you to, y'know? I knew it was too soon after – after all the stuff but I still wanted you to. Tonight I'm cooking. Tomorrow, if you're released from the hospital – "

"That's it. I'm cooking. You can sit around and watch. Maybe you'll learn something."

She didn't want to cook and she didn't want him to cook. She wanted to drive into town, pick up some pizza and beer and then worm her way back into his arms and spend the night seriously working on her issues.

She wanted the whole thing with Castle and was determined to have it. Marriage, home, kids, minivan and the dog. The picture-perfect marriage.

To get there began _here_, tonight. Tonight she was taking the first step on a journey that would bring her to her goal. All she had to do was overcome what thousands of dollars of therapy couldn't. It was a daunting task but she felt that the rewards were worth the effort.

"Kate, we'll compromise. That's what people in a relationship do, they compromise so that each gets part of what each wants and both are happy with it."

"Okay, explain this 'compromise' and how it relates to us."

"Simple. We'll cook dinner together. I'm sure I'll be able to teach you all about the art of water-boiling, while you instruct me on the proper emergency treatment for ptomaine poisoning."

She popped him in the arm, hard, but her eyes crinkled in a silent laugh. This Rick was so different from the no nonsense Castle of the Precinct. This Rick smiled with his eyes and was open and honest with his emotions. 'Precinct Rick' was honest with facts but not about his emotions. He was closed off as if trying to insulate himself from what he had to deal with on a daily basis.

"Any leads on the Skinner guy?" She hated to bring it up but she wanted to know, especially since he'd tried to kill Castle once already.

"Might. The property book sergeant has a son who has no alibi for the times in question and he's already been staying at a halfway house so I guess it's safe to say he's our prime suspect right about now. Ryan and Esposito are tracking him down. They'll call when they find him. And NO, Kate, you're not going along with me on this. I won't have you in jeopardy any more than is necessary. He's unbalanced and that means trouble."

They were leaning, side by side, on the railing of the duck board walkway leading up to her deck and she leaned heavily against him and sighed. "Are we going to fight about this, Rick? Now that we're together, you're not going to go all 'My woman isn't going to go to any take down', are you?"

She looked up at him with those damned eyes that seemed to suck him in.

"Oh, is that what you are? 'My woman'?"

"I want to be that and more, and you damned well know it. Quit being such a chauvinist. It's the 21st century, Richard Castle, or didn't you get the memo? Us girls fly fighters, join the police force, all kinds of dangerous stuff."

"Those are other girls. This," he said, pointing to her and dragging her against him, "is my girl, so no, I'm not being a chauvinist, just a protective boyfriend. No. You are not going along. And that's final."

"Compromise then. Take me along but I'll stay in the car. Brownie's honor. C'mon, big guy, I'll even 'pinkie swear' if it'll make it easier for you."

"Oh, you were a Brownie? Cool. I was a Cub Scout." He leered at her and grinned.

"I know that joke, Castle, so don't think you're pulling one over on me. Seriously, Rick, I want to be there, if only to make sure you're safe."

"You'll stay in the car? Wear your vest? Promise?"

"Promise. Now, let's move all this compromise talk to dinner. I propose we drive into town, find someplace quiet and eat dinner and then come home and talk and then work on my issues. Remind me to pick up some wine while we're out, okay?"

"Okay, but I'm paying for dinner. You spring for the grape juice, okay?" He could afford dinner but her taste in wine would bankrupt small countries.

"Deal. See? Compromise. Was that so damned hard, you thick-headed – " He cut her off with a quick kiss and then smacked her on the ass and laughed at the look on her face.

"I do **not** do slap and tickle, Richard Castle!" She slugged him on the arm again and he just laughed. She stuck her tongue out and ran up the walkway to the deck and then inside the Bunker, laughing all the way.

"Seems to me you're more into 'slug and run', Beckett."

She did that a lot when she was around him – laugh. He was so good for her and she was terrified that she wouldn't be good enough for him.

* * *

><p>DinnerDisaster

She picked a good restaurant that she hoped he'd like. He did. Unfortunately, she was reasonably well known and there was an almost constant stream of people 'dropping by' to chat, discuss upcoming events and to get a look at her latest beau. Beckett was somewhat of a mystery to the society dames and seeing her with Castle was sure to set tongues wagging.

Rick had been gracious at first, answering questions (Yes, I'm really a cop; no, I'm not wearing my gun; she's my shadow, tag-along, consultant sometimes;) but it got old, fast. He could see the look in their eyes as he was measured against some social yardstick and found woefully short of the minimum.

The straw, the one that broke the back of the fabled camel, came in the form of their waiter returning with Castle's credit card in hand and telling him that it had been 'declined' and did he have another?

_'I've got a $6000 credit limit on the damned – shit! I put the Brownstone boiler on the card…_

He didn't have another card but Beckett whipped out one of hers and paid for the meal, adding a generous tip. She hadn't given the prices here much thought and now she mentally groaned when she realized that dinner had cost $400 and…

"Kate, take me home, please. I'm sorry. I've embarrassed you in front of your friends and I'm sorry. Please, Beckett, take me home."

She could see that he was embarrassed and upset and she wanted to crawl under a rock and die. It was her fault for not thinking ahead. She should have gone with her original pizza and beer but she wanted to show him off and instead she'd humiliated him in front of the very people he'd compared himself to when they'd argued in her loft earlier.

Kate wanted to talk, to ease his pain but he wouldn't talk, just repeated his request that she take him home.

"I think that's probably best, Rick. We can sit out on the deck and – "

"No, Kate. I mean my home. Please?" The look on his face tore her up and she wanted nothing more that to hold him close and tell him that it didn't matter.

What happened in the restaurant just reinforced his feelings of inferiority and those 'friends' who'd stopped by their table to chit-chat were further proof to him that he was way out of his league.

"It matters to me, Kate. I tried to tell you but you wouldn't listen. You, me, we're from two different worlds and I just don't fit in yours. I'm sorry for ruining your evening but if you feel anything at all for me, you'll take me home to the city."

"Rick, please, no! I want us to spend the weekend together. You promised me…"

"Kate, don't, please. You belong here, you fit in, you're one of them. I don't. I'm just a guy who had to put a new boiler for the Brownstone on his credit card because the rents don't fall due until the 1st and I didn't have the cash. I don't have…"

He stopped talking and she could see how hard this was for him and her heart melted a little more.

"I'm sorry this happened, Rick, but it doesn't matter to me at all. I forget sometimes what it's like to have to worry about bills but – "

"Beckett, please take me home or at least to someplace I can grab a train into the city."

She knew she couldn't talk him out of it so she resorted to – compromise.

"Rick, I'll take you home to your Brownstone with the new boiler but I'm staying with you. I'll have the caretaker close up the Bunker and we'll come up another time but if we part like this, I know how you are. You'll avoid me and finally you'll just ignore me like when I was with Demming."

His face was hard and he wouldn't look at her. He couldn't.

"Rick, you said we were in a 'relationship', so compromise. We can work through this together but only if you give me an inch to work with. Please?"

"I – look, you and your people are – I'm the street sweeper. I keep scum off the streets so people like you can live your lives – "

"Oh, for God's sake, Castle! What do you want me to do, give it all away? If that's what it takes I'll do it. I can't help it that I make money scribbling out lies and half-truths that pass for fiction but I'll give it all away, live in a one-room walkup, if you'll just stay with me, please?"

Their conversation had taken long enough for her to drive back to her 'bunker' and the name never seemed more fitting than now.

"Get your bag and I'll meet you back here. I'll call the caretaker to close it up. I'll take you back."

"Would you really, Kate?" He was leaning against her car, arms crossed and head down, waiting for her answer.

"In a fucking heartbeat, Rick." Her tone and stance were mirrors of her determination to see this through to the end – her end.

"I'm sorry for being so – " She was wrapped around him in a second, burrowing in to him and telling him that he had no reason to be sorry and that no matter what people thought or said, she would not allow him to be hurt again.

"Rick, half those people are living month-to-month on hand-outs from relatives who are too proud to admit to having 'poor' in the family. You can always tell by their attitudes. The richer they are, the nicer and more considerate they are. Half those people don't know if the bank's going to foreclose on their monstrous mansions tomorrow. Trust me, honey, I'm not lying. You probably have more money in the equity of the Brownstone than most of the people in that restaurant tonight."

He was still very upset. She knew humiliation and embarrassment firsthand and she knew that nothing but time and distance would ease it.

"Rick, come back inside with me. We need to clear the air about some things. Please?"

"If we're – if we're going to do this, Beckett, I need to learn how to say 'No' to you and mean it. Fine. But tomorrow, it's back to the city. This fresh air is killing me."

Compromise. She would take anything she could get as long as it kept him in her life.


	19. Smut

Mirror Image

Chapter 19

Discovered this on my hard drive. Forgot we wrote it. She did the smut stuff.

Warning: This chapter is rated 'M'. It probably won't keep the Twilighters from OD'ing on fluffy smuttiness and getting their keyboards all nasty but what the hell.

Acknowledgement: Mrs. July, a curvaceous Canuck with an absolutely filthy mind is wintering down here on the Gulf Coast and will (God help me) assist in this. I don't _write_ 'M' as a rule.

You have been warned.

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><p>Last time<em>: "Rick, come back inside with me. We need to clear the air about some things. Please?"<em>

"_If we're – if we're going to do this, Beckett, I need to learn how to say 'No' to you and mean it. Fine. But tomorrow, it's back to the city. This fresh air is killing me."_

* * *

><p>She led him back into the small house by the hand and chattered the entire way while her mind was going a mile a minute plotting and scheming.<p>

"Rick, I feel grungy after all that. I'm going to take a nice bath. Join me?"

She almost laughed at the look on his face and the rapidly purpling complexion. His reply was a strangled "Uh, well, if you really want me to…"

"Yes, Castle, I really want you to share my bath. I'll wash your back and you can wash mine and it'll help me relax, okay?"

Again, the strangled reply of "um, sure, Kate, if you're sure, I mean…"

This time she did laugh and dragged him after her by the hand into the bedroom (_soon it will be our bedroom)_ and kicked off her expensive shoes and slipped out of her clothes until she was wearing just a bra and panties.

She walked into the bathroom, started filling the marble garden tub and fiddled with some candles. Rick saw how her hand trembled when lighting the candles and felt a bit more relaxed.

"Uh, Rick, bath? Y'know, sweetie, it works a lot better if you're undressed. I've seen most of you, Rick Castle, and you have nothing to be ashamed of."

He kept his boxers on and Kate carefully hung up his suit pants, shirt and coat and laid the rest of his clothes carefully aside and then asked him to 'undo my bra, Rick'. She felt the tremors in his large hands as he unhooked her bra and she turned around, holding the bra against her breasts and looked up at him with a small smile.

"Look, I'm the one who should be shaking in my drawers, Richard Castle. You promised me we'd go slow but I didn't mean at a snail's pace." She dropped the bra and took his hands in hers and put them on her breasts.

"I won't break, Rick. Just go slowly and let me set the pace. Now, lose the shorts and let's get in the tub."

"Are you always this – domineering? Is there something about you I don't know about? Like, do you have whips and chains and all sorts of devices just waiting for some unsuspecting mmph – "

The kiss was anything but subtle and certainly, if she were going to go at things 'slowly', she was starting off at a brisk pace. She nipped at his lower lip and then sucked it between her own and healed the stinging with the tip of her tongue. _'God but he tastes so good!'_

"No whips. No chains. Nothing but me and you and 1200 count Egyptian cotton sheets, Rick."

He watched as she walked slowly into the bathroom, pulling him along by a hand. He could have watched her 'walk away' for hours. The tight muscles of her buttocks made her heart-shaped bottom flex and release with each step. She was thin without being skinny, her athletic body displayed a tautness that hinted at strength without bulk.

Kate pulled her hair up into a messy bun with some pins and sticks and eased down into the water. The heat vapors rose and made the bathroom warm and damp and her eyes met his and she smiled and reached for him.

"Hot – hot – hot!" He eased into the water behind her and she giggled and then laughed in that deep and sexy way that made her breasts dance. Kate leaned back against his chest, her bottom sitting on his thighs and she sighed loudly.

"This is a first for me, Rick. Now, put your arms around me and lie back and enjoy the relaxing heat." Kate hooked her ankles behind his calves for leverage and wiggled her butt against him.

"You like your men parboiled or fried, Kate? You do know that this water is damned hot?"

He was trying to ignore the sensation her ass brought forth. To distract himself, he reached up and took a breast in each hand and toyed with her nipples. When she gasped and hung her head back against his shoulder, his face was beside hers and he ran the tip of his tongue around the outside of her ear, grinning as she shivered.

"Cold? Surely not, Kate." She put her hands over his and squeezed and pushed them against her. He followed her lead and pinched each nipple lightly to gauge her response. It was immediate. She growled deep in her throat and rocked her hips back against him.

"I love you, Kate Beckett, so the hard part's already over and done with. We've made our mutual commitment so just relax and quit worrying about whether or not…look, you bring so much into my life that sex is like…almost unnecessary."

She craned her neck so she could see his face. "Really, Kate, I'm serious. If this is all we ever had, it would be enough."

"That's sweet but such a lie, Castle. You're just trying to make it easy for me to say 'Stop!' I can see right through you. You're a guy and…"

He pinched her nipple and bit lightly on her neck and sucked the smooth skin between his teeth and licked it with the tip of his tongue.

"Oh, that's so mean, Castle. I can't touch you or…" She tried to twist around and face him but he was having none of it. He wanted her wound tighter than she'd ever been before when he gave her total control. It was all about being in control with her and he knew from his time as a cop that it was what drove her.

Rick's hands left her breasts and slid down over her ribs to her abdomen and he lightly stroked her, feeling her stiffen and then relax when she realized that stroking her skin was all he was going to do.

'_He's not going to hurt me. He's not going to shove his thing into me without caring if I'm ready or not. He's not like that. I need to relax and enjoy what he does to me.'_

He felt her stiffen for just a moment but then she relaxed against him. His fingertips were making slow circles on her lower abdomen and as he moved his hands lower until they were just above her shaven mons, she sighed and relaxed, just enjoying the feelings his soft touches elicited.

What he did next surprised her. He reached past her mons and began ghosting those damned fingertips down her inner thighs. She unconsciously brought her knees up towards her face and let her bent legs fall apart and she leaned back and sucked his earlobe into her mouth and held it between her teeth, teasing it with her tongue.

The smooth passage of his fingertips over her inner thighs changed and he moved his fingertips upwards toward her smooth mound and began his madding circles around it, never touching where she needed him to, but teasing her until she moaned, "Rick, please…", in his ear.

He ignored her attempts to capture his hands in hers and in retaliation, she turned her head and sucked hard on the soft skin of his neck and nipped it.

He gave her what she wanted. He had no choice since she was hanging onto his neck by her teeth. He stroked her outer lips, smiling as she thrust her pelvis up to meet his fingers and moaned, 'Finally!' in his ear and released her teeth.

He allowed her just a moment of this pleasure and then whispered, "Kate, let's take this to the bedroom."

It took a while to dry themselves since each dried the other and Kate kept making sure Rick was 'dry' in places she found particularly interesting.

Kate dialed down the lighting in the room until only the slightest glow was emitted by the lamps and then turned around when she heard a metallic clicking sound.

In the dim list she saw something that took her breath away. "Rick, what…what's this?" She pointed to his hands that were secured above his head by his own handcuffs. She could see the shiny key on the black top of her nightstand – on her side.

"Control. You have absolute control over me and I give you my trust, Kate." He wasn't smiling. He was deadly serious.

"But Rick, you won't be able to…" Then it dawned on her. He knew she'd been an abuse victim and that he was removing any stimuli that might trigger her panic.

God, how she loved this man.

She crawled up the bed until she was lying against him fully and then began 'having her way' with him, kissing him, nipping at him, scratching long nail marks along his chest and following quickly with soothing kisses. Kate pinched one of his nipples and almost giggled when he gasped and then moved her kisses southward.

"Kate, don't, please. This is supposed to be about you not…"

"Shut up, Castle. Don't make me gag you. You'll need your mouth shortly." Again the almost-giggle but then she took hold of his cock and seemed to be studying it for a moment.

"Kate…" This was supposed to be about _her_, damn it.

"Shh. I've never _wanted_ to do this for any man before, Rick but I want to, so just hush, baby." She kissed the very tip of his cock, licking off the dollops of pre-cum that had oozed out and then took the head in her mouth and sucked on it, lashing it with her tongue and then somehow taking almost his entire length in her mouth. He tried, unsuccessfully, to keep from thrusting his hips up and Kate pulled away, not relinquishing the vacuum seal she had on him.

She played him like a fine instrument, bringing him so close and then stopping and just holding him in her mouth and it was driving him crazy with lust. She ran her fingernails up and down his ball sac and almost laughed when he whimpered.

Kate hopped off the bed and went to her nightstand drawer and pulled out a scarf she'd hidden there earlier.

She quickly blindfolded Castle with it and then, before he could say anything, she straddled his face, surprising him. Kate checked the fit of the handcuffs because she didn't want him in any pain – unless she gave it to him.

Castle figured out what was going on and grinned. His little novelist was actually very shy. He ran the tip of his tongue up through her folds, just barely touching her clit. Her thighs seemed to tremble but she held onto the headboard and started moving her hips slowly back and forth, encouraging his tongue's depredations.

Rick dipped his tongue deep into her pussy and she shuddered and seemed to grind against his face so he did it again, only this time he ended his tongue-fuck by circling her clit, teasing it with his tongue.

She moaned and rocked against him. He sucked in one of her inner lips and laved it with his tongue and then dipped deeper into her and she shuddered again when his tongue encircled her clit. She moved her hips in a slow circular motion over his busy mouth and whispered to the wall, 'make me cum with your mouth, Rick. Make me scream…' Kate's thighs tightened on him and Rick swiped his tongue the length of her slit and then fixed his lips on her clit and sucked…hard.

"Ohhh, God, Castle…" her voice was almost hoarse and the tenor of it sent chills down his spine. It wasn't a scream but it would do for now.

Kate was out of breath and her mind was blessedly free of the sense of disappointment that usually accompanied her self-induced orgasms. She straightened herself out along his body and kissed him gently, tasting her slickness and juices on his lips and in his mouth.

"I think you broke me, Rick. I can't stop shaking." He felt her smile on his lips and smiled in return. "Yeah, that was pretty earth-shattering – especially from my perspective."

She slapped him playfully on the chest and then pulled herself up and kissed him. "Well, I doubt you could tell much with a scarf blindfold on, honey, but I have a reason. Now, as soon as I catch my breath, Rick, _I'm going to break **you!'**_

A/N: Anyone else out there wonder if Kate might just be the Butcher? Nah. But think about it.

Thanks to my resident pervert.

OM


End file.
